Twas the morning of realignment

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pied

Active member
Ripped this from The Old Coach(which is apparetnly moving to Rivals)

Twas the morning of realignment



I wrote this parody in 1996 before the last realignment. I just now remembered it and thought I would re-post it now.


'Twas the morning of realignment, when all through the State

All the coaches were scrambling to find out their fate;

Their non district foes in their pocket with care,

In hopes their new district would not find them there;

The coaches all nervous at their Educational Service Center,

Were waiting for the dude with the packets to enter;

Some in their visors, and I in my cap,

Were nervously drawing up new ways to trap,

When all around the room there arose such a clatter,

I looked up from my notebook to see what was the matter.

Away to the packets I flew like a flash,

Tore open the booklet and looked through my stash.

The light from the ceiling emitted it’s fluorescent glow

And gave the luster of mid-day to the districts below,

When, what to my wondering eyes should appear,

But the name of my school in a district not near,

With a belch from my taco, so putrid and thick,

I knew in a moment I was going to be sick.

More rapid than eagles the coaches they came,

Looking for non districts and they called me by name;

I need a zero! I need a third! the voices were humming

Come play me week four! You’ll be my homecoming!

I’ll check my schedule and give you a call!

Now dash away! dash away! dash away all!"

As dry leaves that before the wild hurricane fly,

I looked at my district and started to cry,

I knew that some Friday’s we’d have some long trips,

And three of the teams had won championships.

And then, in a twinkling, I heard on my cell,

The ring tone was signaling a realignment ----.

”I can’t play you week two, I have a prior commit,”

I told him succinctly, “that ain’t worth a [Censored]!”.

I looked at the numbers that separated class,

To see what the UIL had brought to pass;

I peeked at the 4A and suddenly knew,

The top number, of course, was Highland Park plus TWO!

I searched through the crowd for someone I knew,

I had to find a game to fill up week two,

His eyes – they were bloodshot! his dimples how scary!

His cheeks were like sandpaper, his nose like a cherry!

His droll little mouth was filled with a chaw,

And the front of his shirt was the worse thing I saw;

The juice from the chew was staining his teeth,

And the stain on his shirt was round like a wreath;

He had a broad face and a big old round belly,

That shook, when he cussed like a bowlful of jelly.

He was chubby and plump, a right jolly old elf,

And I laughed when I saw him, in spite of myself;

A wink of his eye and a twist of his head,

Soon gave me to know I had nothing to dread;

He spoke not a word, but went straight to his work,

And filled my last game; that I had lost to that jerk,

And wiping some spittle from off of his chin,

He left me standing there with a grin;

I sprang to my car, and headed back home,

And tried to call the school but my cell was on roam.

And I heard myself say as I drove out of sight,

“Happy Realignment to all, let’s have a good fight!”
Click to expand...

http://www.theoldcoach.com/forum/viewthread.php?tid=62337
 
 
SLCDad said:
SLC and Trinity in the same district? We can hope.
Click to expand...

Nope, SLC back w/Coppell and the Lewisville/Fm schools. A much harder district in my opinion.


HOLY CRAP, just realized SLC is in a six team district!!!! That means FIVE non-district games!!!! Forget my thread a few weeks back. Actually take it and reverse it...

Trinity is in SLC's old district appraently.

Personally, Lamar is in the old Little SWC, 4-5A. Weird as all get out.

That wacky UIL. More to come.

http://www.utexas.edu/uil/2008alignments/5A_fb_bsktb.pdf
 
Dallas Jesuit w/the PLano schools and Allen. Tough going for them.... Also they are now Region 1???

Abilene is now with some metroplex schools, what the heck????

How about this for travel, SAn Angelo to Amarillo 300 miles.

There are three nine team Districts and two ten team districts.
 
Last edited:
Lee and Permian got split from Abilene.

Anyone who comes in fifth in a ten-team district is not going to be happy that there are six-team districts.
 
pied said:
Nope, SLC back w/Coppell and the Lewisville/Fm schools. A much harder district in my opinion.


HOLY CRAP, just realized SLC is in a six team district!!!! That means FIVE non-district games!!!! Forget my thread a few weeks back. Actually take it and reverse it...

Trinity is in SLC's old district appraently.
Click to expand...

I HATE the new alignment.

1. SLC loses the the natural rivalries from schools that are next to Southlake (Grapevine, Colleyville, 3 Keller schools). Sitting in the stands in Dragon stadium you can see the Grapevine/Colleyville stadium but they are now in a different district.
2. SLC doesn't get Trinity but ALL of the schools in SLC's old district are now with Trinity. :wallbang:
3. SLC now travels north to Lewisville and Flower Mound.
4. Scheduling 5 non-district games is tough since most teams start district play after week 3 and OOS games are done a week or two before that.

On the good side, SLC now gets to play Coppell. SLC played Coppell for 30 years until they refused to schedule any more games because SLC won 90% of the time.

Since SLC hasn't lost to any of these teams (old or new district) for at least seven years the homer in me is thinking that the UIL is moving SLC to a new district so another group of schools can take their turn at getting slaughtered. :eek: :eek:
 
SLCDad said:
Since SLC hasn't lost to any of these teams (old or new district) for at least seven years the homer in me is thinking that the UIL is moving SLC to a new district so another group of schools can take their turn at getting slaughtered.
Click to expand...

I think SLC is in a much tougher district.

Hebron is a solid team and recent 4A Title winner. Flower Mound is also good. Marcus dramatically improved their coaching situation w/Lamarque's coach, and I am still not certain how they pulled that off.

Marcus also had one of the best soph. RB's in the state whom the Dragons will have to face his JR/SR year. Lewisville is rarely a patsy.
 
Chicago said:
Lee and Permian got split from Abilene.

Anyone who comes in fifth in a ten-team district is not going to be happy that there are six-team districts.
Click to expand...

Abilene has to travel no matter which district they are in, but now every team in their district is in the DFW area. That's like 150 miles each way. That whole district is really spread out because there are teams on the north, far south and far west of the Ft.Worth area.
 
pied said:
I think SLC is in a much tougher district.

Hebron is a solid team and recent 4A Title winner. Flower Mound is also good. Marcus dramatically improved their coaching situation w/Lamarque's coach, and I am still not certain how they pulled that off.

Marcus also had one of the best soph. RB's in the state whom the Dragons will have to face his JR/SR year. Lewisville is rarely a patsy.
Click to expand...

SLC was with these schools in 2002 and 2003 except Hebron who was 4A at the time.
 
SLCDad said:
SLC was with these schools in 2002 and 2003 except Hebron who was 4A at the time.
Click to expand...

In 02/03 Stephen Hopkins was in 5th and 6th grade. Also the current Marcus coach was winning a sate title at La Marque.

Perhaps it's not the same any longer.
 
consumerman said:
please dont tell me 4th place finishers in 6 team leagues will qualify for the playoffs

can you say 2-8???????????????????
Click to expand...


It's possible, but unlikely given the teams in these districts. Perhaps you stumbled on some of the method behind the UIL's madness...

Besides the SLC/LISD 6 team district you have:

11-5A

De Soto
Mesquite
Mesquite Horn
North Mesquite
Tyler John Tyler
Tyler Lee

17-5A
Katy
Katy Cinco Ranch
Katy Mayde Creek
Katy Morton Ranch
Katy Seven Lakes
Katy Taylor

21-5A
Baytown Lee
Baytown Sterling
Beaumont Westbrook
Channelview
GP North Shore
PA Memorial


Two of those are ball busters. Not too certain about the all Katy affair.
 
Texas High had an interesting realignment. Could arguably be one of the best 4A districts in Texas:

13-4A
- Longview - dropped from 5A (floats in and out of top 25 on national polls)
- Texas High - my personal favorite
- Marshall - Stout
- Sulphur Springs - feature one of the top QBs in the 2009 LOI class - Rollison
- Mt Pleasant - Very competitive in 2007 should be in 2008
- Hallsville - Solid program, but will have a hard time hanging.
- Longview Pine Tree - program on the up tick, but realignment was not kind to this program.
 
pied said:
It's possible, but unlikely given the teams in these districts. Perhaps you stumbled on some of the method behind the UIL's madness...

Besides the SLC/LISD 6 team district you have:

11-5A

De Soto
Mesquite
Mesquite Horn
North Mesquite
Tyler John Tyler
Tyler Lee

17-5A
Katy
Katy Cinco Ranch
Katy Mayde Creek
Katy Morton Ranch
Katy Seven Lakes
Katy Taylor

21-5A
Baytown Lee
Baytown Sterling
Beaumont Westbrook
Channelview
GP North Shore
PA Memorial


Two of those are ball busters. Not too certain about the all Katy affair.
Click to expand...

Let's be honest. Do you really think Consumerman wants to understand or dicsuss Texas alignments? I don't.
 
Bordertown said:
Texas High had an interesting realignment. Could arguably be one of the best 4A districts in Texas:

13-4A
- Longview - dropped from 5A (floats in and out of top 25 on national polls)
- Texas High - my personal favorite
- Marshall - Stout
- Sulphur Springs - feature one of the top QBs in the 2009 LOI class - Rollison
- Mt Pleasant - Very competitive in 2007 should be in 2008
- Hallsville - Solid program, but will have a hard time hanging.
- Longview Pine Tree - program on the up tick, but realignment was not kind to this program.
Click to expand...

Longview now actually has a chance to win a championship.
 
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