Crazy Work Stories

G

Gardens35

Well-known member
This one is from a few years back.

My office was near the front of the building just off of the main lobby. One day around noon or so one of my co-workers (Joe) wife walked into the lobby and straight into my office. She was crying and panting and sobbing so uncontrollably that it was hard to understand what she was saying. Obviously something was very wrong. Anyhow, between the sobs and pants she asked me to find Joe for her. I said "Yes, please sit down", and she blurts out "Our daughter died, she's out in the car." My mind was blown right then and there. I thought "holy sheeit", and hustled off to get Joe.

I found Joe in the back and told him that his wife was in my office and that there was an "emergency" that needed tended to immediately. He gave me a sort of knowing nod and headed up front. I followed, but stopped in the lobby to give them some privacy........but close enough to be of help if they needed any. After just a few seconds they left the building and headed outside and were gone.

I was bummed, I felt so bad and sad for them. Truth be told, I was also wondering WHY THE FLYING F_CK is she "out in the car", instead of somewhere else....., but hey.....whatever, just shaking my sad head at the whole thing.

So Fast Forward about 2 hours. Into my office walks Joe. He looks a bit sad, but not all that worse for the wear. I'm thinking WTF! I tell him how sorry I am for them. He sits down, thanks me for my help then commences to tell me how sick their DOG has been, and how it passed at the house this morning, and how his wife loaded it into the car, and how she had an emotional break on the way to the vet, and all this and that......

Evidently she said "Our DOG died, she's out in the car", and I heard "Our daughter died, she's out in the car". MIND BLOW. :ROFLMAO:
 
 
I had an employee receive a personal call on the floor. He stepped off to take it. Comes back to my desk calm as can be and says he needs to go home. I asked if everything was ok. He responds "my wife just died". He was obviously in shock but to have a coworker just emotionlessly say that really shook me. Obviously told him to go home and to let us know if there was anything we could do to help.
 
CedarBuck92 said:
I had an employee receive a personal call on the floor. He stepped off to take it. Comes back to my desk calm as can be and says he needs to go home. I asked if everything was ok. He responds "my wife just died". He was obviously in shock but to have a coworker just emotionlessly say that really shook me. Obviously told him to go home and to let us know if there was anything we could do to help.
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Bad move you should have gotten some one to take him home. You really do not know his mental state and probably should not have drove himself.
 
Here is mine. It was my third year of teaching and was at the teachers table of the school lunch room. When a student aid from the front office, walks up to me and says, we just got a call from your mother and she says your grandpa just died suddenly. A student was sent to inform me. When I think this should have been done in the front office by someone with a title . No one knew how close I was to the man or how I would react. I handled it well and at a later time read the riot act to the right people. Place of education, you know and people needed to be educated.
 
I was not present for the majority of this. So most of this is second hand.

Employee has skin condition that makes his skin paper thin. He goes to the bathroom and nicks himself on the back of the leg unknowingly. Proceeds to walk back to his desk while bleeding everywhere. Upon arriving at his desk, he realizes that he is bleeding out. Squad is called. While awaiting squad other employees attempt to put tourniquet on his leg. Luckily, he was working with a Army Reservist who happened to be trained in battlefield triage and bleeding was able to be temporarily stopped. Employee is taken to ER. Significant amount of carpet had to be replaced and that bathroom smelled of bleach for a few weeks.

I was working nights at the time and arrived to an email about what happened and that he would be out for the foreseeable future. Around 4AM, I receive a call from the employee advising he is still in the hospital and he will therefore not be in but would try to come in if he was released. He was advised to just take the day and contact his supervisor upon release.

To this day I am amazed that he was that determined to come to work.
 
Gardens35 said:
This one is from a few years back.

My office was near the front of the building just off of the main lobby. One day around noon or so one of my co-workers (Joe) wife walked into the lobby and straight into my office. She was crying and panting and sobbing so uncontrollably that it was hard to understand what she was saying. Obviously something was very wrong. Anyhow, between the sobs and pants she asked me to find Joe for her. I said "Yes, please sit down", and she blurts out "Our daughter died, she's out in the car." My mind was blown right then and there. I thought "holy sheeit", and hustled off to get Joe.

I found Joe in the back and told him that his wife was in my office and that there was an "emergency" that needed tended to immediately. He gave me a sort of knowing nod and headed up front. I followed, but stopped in the lobby to give them some privacy........but close enough to be of help if they needed any. After just a few seconds they left the building and headed outside and were gone.

I was bummed, I felt so bad and sad for them. Truth be told, I was also wondering WHY THE FLYING F_CK is she "out in the car", instead of somewhere else....., but hey.....whatever, just shaking my sad head at the whole thing.

So Fast Forward about 2 hours. Into my office walks Joe. He looks a bit sad, but not all that worse for the wear. I'm thinking WTF! I tell him how sorry I am for them. He sits down, thanks me for my help then commences to tell me how sick their DOG has been, and how it passed at the house this morning, and how his wife loaded it into the car, and how she had an emotional break on the way to the vet, and all this and that......

Evidently she said "Our DOG died, she's out in the car", and I heard "Our daughter died, she's out in the car". MIND BLOW. :ROFLMAO:
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Dude, pets are high on the food chain now. I know co-workers who've taken a personal day because their dog / cat died? I get it, you get attached to them and all but this just goes into today's society and the inability to cope. You should know from the day you bring that pet home, you will likely out live it.
 
CedarBuck92 said:
I was not present for the majority of this. So most of this is second hand.

Employee has skin condition that makes his skin paper thin. He goes to the bathroom and nicks himself on the back of the leg unknowingly. Proceeds to walk back to his desk while bleeding everywhere. Upon arriving at his desk, he realizes that he is bleeding out. Squad is called. While awaiting squad other employees attempt to put tourniquet on his leg. Luckily, he was working with a Army Reservist who happened to be trained in battlefield triage and bleeding was able to be temporarily stopped. Employee is taken to ER. Significant amount of carpet had to be replaced and that bathroom smelled of bleach for a few weeks.

I was working nights at the time and arrived to an email about what happened and that he would be out for the foreseeable future. Around 4AM, I receive a call from the employee advising he is still in the hospital and he will therefore not be in but would try to come in if he was released. He was advised to just take the day and contact his supervisor upon release.

To this day I am amazed that he was that determined to come to work.
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Alot of times you'll see people with conditions and such that tend to take them out of work more often, really make sure they do everything they can to work when they can.
 
This one may not be quite in the realm of what you are looking for. My company does yearly reviews in March and goal setting in April. Goal setting is really just upper management deciding what they want to grade us on for the next year.

Last year, I had just received my review. I got the second highest "grade" possible and my supervisor had great hope that I could top out this year. 1 Week later our goals were released. All 3 of they were impossible goals. I walked back into my supervisors office and told him if these goals stood the whole department would fail. He didn't believe me.

Not a single person met their goals this year.
 
CedarBuck92 said:
This one may not be quite in the realm of what you are looking for. My company does yearly reviews in March and goal setting in April. Goal setting is really just upper management deciding what they want to grade us on for the next year.

Last year, I had just received my review. I got the second highest "grade" possible and my supervisor had great hope that I could top out this year. 1 Week later our goals were released. All 3 of they were impossible goals. I walked back into my supervisors office and told him if these goals stood the whole department would fail. He didn't believe me.

Not a single person met their goals this year.
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Depending what you do for work, there's a couple reasons they did that.

One, they don't have to bonus anybody.

Two, and more importantly, they can now get rid of ANYONE in that department that they'd like to.
I'm sure they had their eye on several of them.
 
CedarBuck92 said:
This one may not be quite in the realm of what you are looking for. My company does yearly reviews in March and goal setting in April. Goal setting is really just upper management deciding what they want to grade us on for the next year.

Last year, I had just received my review. I got the second highest "grade" possible and my supervisor had great hope that I could top out this year. 1 Week later our goals were released. All 3 of they were impossible goals. I walked back into my supervisors office and told him if these goals stood the whole department would fail. He didn't believe me.

Not a single person met their goals this year.
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I had a similar unachievable "goal" many years ago as a recent college grad. Our annual review consisted of grading us from 1-10 on various areas. Our bonus was actually based on our final numerical score. I received a 9 on attendance. I protested that it should be a 10. I didn't miss a single day. I worked many weekends. I stayed late and was usually the first one in the office, never missing a minute. My boss said, "Let's not quibble over a 9 versus a 10. Besides, there is always room for improvement." Well, HIS bonus wasn't affected.
 
BlackHawk said:
I had a similar unachievable "goal" many years ago as a recent college grad. Our annual review consisted of grading us from 1-10 on various areas. Our bonus was actually based on our final numerical score. I received a 9 on attendance. I protested that it should be a 10. I didn't miss a single day. I worked many weekends. I stayed late and was usually the first one in the office, never missing a minute. My boss said, "Let's not quibble over a 9 versus a 10. Besides, there is always room for improvement." Well, HIS bonus wasn't affected.
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I hope you got away from that boss as soon as possible.
 
After a forty year career in industry, this is my craziest work story. I wasn't sure whether to post it or not, but here goes:

I worked in management at a decent sized (400-500 employees) manufacturing company in Dayton. Sometimes we used a temp agency when we needed more workers on a short notice. I performed the role of my HR Manager when she was on vacation. One day, while fulfilling my HR Manager's role, I met a brand new temp in the lobby and was to give her a brief orientation before sending her out to her work area. After I introduced myself, she said "Mr. BlackHawk, I totally forgot that I can't start work today, but I came here today just to let you know how dependable I am. I gots me an abortion scheduled this morning at 10:30, but I can start tomorrow morning." Needless to say, I was shocked and unprepared for this statement before 7 a.m. (and my first cup of coffee), so I said, "What?" (which had the unintended consequence of making her repeat her startling statement, almost verbatim). I said, "You can't start tomorrow after a serious medical procedure like that." She said, "Sure I can. I've had abortions before and they ain't no big deal." I sent her home and told her not to come in unless she hears from the temp agency.

I don't want to start an abortion debate, but whether you are pro-life or pro-choice, it was her nonchalant, cavalier, unashamed, almost-proud attitude that was so off-putting and disturbing. Surely she knew that abortions were controversial. I don't think she was doing it to play a joke either. She meant it.
 
BlackHawk said:
After a forty year career in industry, this is my craziest work story. I wasn't sure whether to post it or not, but here goes:

I worked in management at a decent sized (400-500 employees) manufacturing company in Dayton. Sometimes we used a temp agency when we needed more workers on a short notice. I performed the role of my HR Manager when she was on vacation. One day, while fulfilling my HR Manager's role, I met a brand new temp in the lobby and was to give her a brief orientation before sending her out to her work area. After I introduced myself, she said "Mr. BlackHawk, I totally forgot that I can't start work today, but I came here today just to let you know how dependable I am. I gots me an abortion scheduled this morning at 10:30, but I can start tomorrow morning." Needless to say, I was shocked and unprepared for this statement before 7 a.m. (and my first cup of coffee), so I said, "What?" (which had the unintended consequence of making her repeat her startling statement, almost verbatim). I said, "You can't start tomorrow after a serious medical procedure like that." She said, "Sure I can. I've had abortions before and they ain't no big deal." I sent her home and told her not to come in unless she hears from the temp agency.

I don't want to start an abortion debate, but whether you are pro-life or pro-choice, it was her nonchalant, cavalier, unashamed, almost-proud attitude that was so off-putting and disturbing. Surely she knew that abortions were controversial. I don't think she was doing it to play a joke either. She meant it.
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And after the company went full DEI, she's probably running the place now.
 
OldSoulon said:
Depending what you do for work, there's a couple reasons they did that.

One, they don't have to bonus anybody.

Two, and more importantly, they can now get rid of ANYONE in that department that they'd like to.
I'm sure they had their eye on several of them.
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The irony is we are a growing department. I'm really interested to see how reviews actually go this year.
 
Years ago when I still was working and the people I supervised seemed to be having a hard time making it to work. You know the calling in sick thing, so during a short meeting that we had before going to work I mentioned the when you are sick one of two things will happen. you will either get well or you will die and those things can happen while you are at work just like if you stay home.
 
My wife, a school administrator, could own this thread. From meetings with parents where police are required to be present, to parents likely tied to the Russian mob, to some crazy kid names.
 
PantherProud said:
My wife, a school administrator, could own this thread. From meetings with parents where police are required to be present, to parents likely tied to the Russian mob, to some crazy kid names.
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Share some of her stories, if you can. I would like to hear some crazy kids names. I never understood why parents give their kids weirdo names.
 
PantherProud said:
My wife, a school administrator, could own this thread. From meetings with parents where police are required to be present, to parents likely tied to the Russian mob, to some crazy kid names.
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Retired, long-time educator, here, and I could write a book.

Several years ago, as I was standing outside of my room, the female teacher up the hall came down with her class, to allow them to use the restrooms. Now, this lady was well-known as a wack job. She asked if I could watch her class while she used the restroom. Sure, no problem. Well, she decided to overshare, informing me that she was having problems and that her period was heavy. I said, "Jan, I don't need to know that information, just asking me to cover would've been fine."

Story #2. Kid brings in a black dildo and slaps another kid in the face with it. Of course he's sent to the office, where mom will be called. In the principal's office are the principal and two other teachers. As mom is called, the principal puts the phone on speaker. Mom is informed that her son has brought in a black dildo and has slapped another student in the face. Mom responds, "Oh, that can't be mine, mine is pink." It took several minutes for those in the room pick pick themselves up from the floor and regain their composure.
 
I have two episodes that were memorable.

1. Was set to teach a USPS orientation class 30 years ago for a group of temps. This was in the training area in the rear of the main post office. Personnel lady comes in to have them take the oath of office, then asks, "Before I leave, does anyone have additions or changes to the info you have submitted about your backgrounds?" Guy raises his hand, said he'd been arrested over the weekend. She says "For what?" He says, "Killing someone. I was in a bar fight Saturday, and the guy I was fighting died. I'm out on bail waiting for arraignment". She says, "Uh, no, you'll have to leave. Mr. Zunardo, will you escort this gentleman out, and then you can start the class".

Great. I had to walk with a total stranger who's just confessed to a homicide. The front door was 400 feet away. He didn't say anything, but I'm looking out the corner of my eye the whole time until I saw him leave.

* * * * * * *

2. Same building, but now I'm working in the front of the building in Injury Comp. I get a call from the training area, there was another orientation class for temp workers that had just ended, I'm told one of them is badly injured and I have to get there stat.

What the??? I sprint the length of the building, go up 3 flights of stairs. At the landing outside a large freight elevator there's a kid sitting against the wall in a daze, his forehead is split open to the bone over one eyebrow, blood everywhere, and he's bleeding from a very bad bump on the back of his head. Fortunately there was a nurse in the building tending to him, and the squad got there quick.

You know how freight elevators for heavy equipment have those inner doors made out of heavy metal frames with chain-link - when you get in and press the button, the inner doors close first, then the big outer doors close before it moves. And there's a big sign on the elevator that says "NOT FOR INDIVIDUAL PASSENGERS".

Apparent the class had ended, and all the dummies in it ran for the freight elevator, (too much work to go down the stairs), and they're holding the Close Door button down, while the kid was 15 feet away telling them to hold up. The inner gate came down just as he got there, and caught him right on the forehead, knocked him backward where he cracked the back of his head on a vending machine. The others saw this, but they kept pushing the button to bring the gate back down ....... and left him there bleeding and almost unconscious.

There's more to the episode. Let's just say his career ended that day, and he was stuck with a lot of medical bills because he refused to file an injury claim. If he had, USPS would have paid them, no questions asked.
 
I used to work in college admissions and would spend most of the fall traveling to high schools, meeting students and counselors, representing at college fairs, etc. Since we had a finite amount of time to complete our visits, we did not spend too much time out of state, and would only visit schools with high-achieving, somewhat affluent students.

I was working a college fair in Pittsburgh one evening and I had visits scheduled for the next morning in Erie. This would be my only day to visit to Erie for the entire season. After the fair, I drove north on I-79 heading to my hotel just outside the city. I'm in the right lane and a semi is to my left and a little ahead of me. All of a sudden the semi brakes hard and just misses a deer darting across the highway. I had no time to dodge it and I hit it head still going at least 50+. This thing flew through the air spinning through the air like a helicopter for like 30 yards. I was okay, obviously shaken. Highway patrol came out and even though the hood was crumpled, it could still open and latch, there was no damage to the windshield, and there were no leaks. Since this was a university vehicle, their motor pool office would handle the insurance portion, but the office was closed for the night. I called my boss and was essentially told that since the car was still driveable, to continue my schedule as normal and then we'd coordinate picking up a one-way rental and having the car transported back to campus.

So the next morning I'm pulling into schools like Northwest PA Collegiate Academy and Cathedral Prep in a complete wreck. Which honestly was only slightly worse than the Nissan Versa hatchback the airport Enterprise gave me.
 
A number of years ago I was teaching a fairly large sixth grade class of around around 40+ students. One Columbus Day I was conducting class when some of the students near the window looked to be distracted by something outside. It turned out to be a kid around 13 or 13 with a spider monkey on a leash.
The monkey somehow escaped from his grasp and climbed a telephone pole close to the school. The monkey traveled across the telephone lines a short distance and ended up on the window ledge of the library ,which was adjacent to our classroom. I made sure all of our windows were closed and locked and sent a note to the office asking the administration to call animal services. A policeman came instead because it was a holiday for the non-essential employees. All classes were instructed to close their doors.
After being warned not to approach the animal,the officer tried to catch the monkey and was bit a few times, leaving a fair amount of blood in the library. Animal control said they would find someone to come on duty. The school was evacuated and the monkey ransacked the library, while we waited outside for about 90 minutes. Animal control caught the monkey, and the day ended well for everyone but the cop and the kid who skipped school.
 
PantherProud said:
My favorites are still from when she was a teaching assistant like 20 yrs ago. Brothers:

Lemonjello (pronounced Lemongelo)

Orangejello (pronounced Orangelo)
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I once had two girls in my class, born a month apart. Same dad, different moms. The younger brother was one grade behind. Yep, different mother. Trouble was, dad had somewhat of a police record and when in high school, for the lack of a better term, wasn't on a top career path. Dad must've had something going on ................

We had a 13 year old 5th grader. His younger brother was in kindergarten. Exact same name, down to the middle name, with a Jr. at the end. Yep, two different moms. It appears dad wanted two Jrs.

Once had parents come in to sign a document. Mom and dad argued over how to spell mom's first name. One said Sherri, and other said Sheryl.

One kid brought in dad's penis pump. During the call to the parents, on speaker, mom and dad were arguing over who left it out and when it was last used. You can imagine the reactions.

One last one, I think. We had a Zoom call from my office, with the parent, the Special Ed supervisor, the school psych, two teachers, and myself, on speaker. For some reason the student was home and it appeared he lacked in bathroom etiquette. In graphic detail, mom explained that son refused to put toilet paper in the toilet, rather choosing to dispose of it in the waste basket. She was yelling at him, no, no, no, don't put it in there! At this point, I had to turn around, shaking uncontrollably with laughter. The other vets in the room also lost it, but the supervisor and the youngsters struggled to remain under control.
 
19AL63 said:
Years ago when I still was working and the people I supervised seemed to be having a hard time making it to work. You know the calling in sick thing, so during a short meeting that we had before going to work I mentioned the when you are sick one of two things will happen. you will either get well or you will die and those things can happen while you are at work just like if you stay home.
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Had a supervisor whose stated policy was sick days should be reserved for when you are dead. There were only 2 issues with this. 1. this went completely against department and company policy. 2. He didn't follow this rule himself.
 
I did 31 years and only called in sick one day and that was after working there for over 25 years and was getting older, could not raise my head off the pillow.
 
PantherProud said:
My favorites are still from when she was a teaching assistant like 20 yrs ago. Brothers:
Lemonjello (pronounced Lemongelo)
Orangejello (pronounced Orangelo)
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JackEd said:
My mother in law has been a nurse in the newborn sector for 40 years. She had twins named Yellowjello and orange jello. So it isn’t that unique I guess. Ha ha
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Interesting!

Reminds me of pro bowler Mike Limongello (pronounced like lemon jello). He had a bit of success on national TV in the early 1970's.
 
For a summer job I worked for a county highway crew for a week during a short vacation layoff from a factory job. One of the workers was a very young high school dropout. One day he mentioned that his job was seasonal and that he didn't work in the winter. I asked what he did in the winter, and he replied, " I lay back and draw." Naively, I said, "So you're an artist." He said, "No, I draw unemployment."
 
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