What is your favorite joke/riddle?
- Thread starter LCL
- Start date
This one I recall from around 1980.
Two paratroopers jump out of an airplane at 10,000 ft.
The first guy opens his chute at 3000 ft and awaits his partner to join him. Looking up he sees his partner with his parachute unopened screaming towards the ground. "Pull the cord to open the chute" he yells out.
His partner simply replies "I know what I'm doing ".
He falls to just 500 ft above the ground, again the first man yells " pull the cord now, or your going to die!"
" I know what I'm doing " his partner yells back.
Horrified the first jumper watches as his budy reaches merely a couple feet above certain death and severe impact.
" why didn't you pull the cord" the first guy screams at his partner?
His partner, smugly replies, "i dont have to, cause I can jump from here".
Two paratroopers jump out of an airplane at 10,000 ft.
The first guy opens his chute at 3000 ft and awaits his partner to join him. Looking up he sees his partner with his parachute unopened screaming towards the ground. "Pull the cord to open the chute" he yells out.
His partner simply replies "I know what I'm doing ".
He falls to just 500 ft above the ground, again the first man yells " pull the cord now, or your going to die!"
" I know what I'm doing " his partner yells back.
Horrified the first jumper watches as his budy reaches merely a couple feet above certain death and severe impact.
" why didn't you pull the cord" the first guy screams at his partner?
His partner, smugly replies, "i dont have to, cause I can jump from here".
oxat622
Well-known member
A man is getting ready to open a new bar in town. Before the grand opening, he gets his buddy, a quality assurance tester, to come over and test some processes.
The tester orders 1 beer. He orders "one" beer. He orders 0.99 beers. He orders 0 beers. He orders -1 beer. He orders "fdgdnk" beers. He orders two "beer$". He orders a cat.
All tests pass and the tester tells the owner the bar is ready to open.
Grand opening day comes and the first customer walks through the door. He asks the bartender where the bathroom is. The bar bursts into flames.
The tester orders 1 beer. He orders "one" beer. He orders 0.99 beers. He orders 0 beers. He orders -1 beer. He orders "fdgdnk" beers. He orders two "beer$". He orders a cat.
All tests pass and the tester tells the owner the bar is ready to open.
Grand opening day comes and the first customer walks through the door. He asks the bartender where the bathroom is. The bar bursts into flames.
OldSoulon
Well-known member
A man goes to the doctor complaining of pains over different parts of his body.
"See this?", he says, pushing his finger into his shoulder. "It hurts here, and also here on my lower right side, and also here,
on the back of my neck". He continues poking his finger into several other parts of his body, which also causes pain.
"Hold on", says the doctor. "You are Polish, aren't you, sir?"
"Yes", replies the man.
"Well, then, it's simple...you have a broken finger!"
"See this?", he says, pushing his finger into his shoulder. "It hurts here, and also here on my lower right side, and also here,
on the back of my neck". He continues poking his finger into several other parts of his body, which also causes pain.
"Hold on", says the doctor. "You are Polish, aren't you, sir?"
"Yes", replies the man.
"Well, then, it's simple...you have a broken finger!"
A priest and a nun are stranded in a small town, when their car breaks down. And they are forced to stay overnight in a motel. The motel has but one room available. So the priest asks the nun if she would mind staying in the same room with him? The nun says no, if God will not mind. So the nun takes the bed, while the priest takes the chair. A short while later, the nun tells the priest, that she is cold. The priest brings her a blanket. Awhile later, the nun tells the priest, that she is STILL cold. The priest brings another blanket. Later, she says that she is STILL cold, and would the priest mind laying in the bed with her like husband and wife. God surely wouldn't mind. Finally, the priest said why didn't you say so before? Because I'd make my wife get her own blankets.
Orin Swift
Well-known member
I’m not going to type it out but Norm MacDonalds pig joke is arguably my favorite.