Is the Western way of raising kids weird?

Yappi

Yappi

Go Buckeyes
"Is he in his own room yet?" is a question new parents often field once they emerge from the haze of life with a newborn. But sleeping apart from our babies is a relatively recent development – and not one that extends around the globe. In other cultures sharing a room, and sometimes a bed, with your baby is the norm.

This isn’t the only aspect of new parenthood that Westerners do differently. From napping on a schedule and sleep training to pushing our children around in strollers, what we might think of as standard parenting practices are often anything but.

Parents in the US and UK are advised to have their babies sleep in the same room as them for at least the first six months, but many view this as a brief stopover on their way to a dedicated nursery.
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www.bbc.com

Is the Western way of raising kids weird?

From sleeping in separate beds to their children to transporting them in prams, Western parents have some unusual ideas about how to raise them
www.bbc.com www.bbc.com
 
 
It has gotten pretty weird around our house in the last three years.

First, when we adopted our three year old ( 9 weeks at the time of adoption) they told us to make sure she got plenty of time sleeping in her pen. They warned us spoiling them by sleeping in bed with us could affect our lives. Well, after a trip to the doctor, my wife could not resist having her in bed with us.

At first it was ok, but then she began licking my face to get me to wake up and take her to go pee in the middle of the night.
 
Your wife licks you on the face to get you to lead her to the bathroom so
she can pee? ;)

:D :D :D

:>---

EGA
 
ohiopup said:
Your wife licks you on the face to get you to lead her to the bathroom so
she can pee? ;)

:D :D :D

:>---

EGA
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Actually it's more kinky than that, it's her adopted fur daughter that licks me in the face.

I find it odd that the lady (my wife) who would never think of having one of our children share the bed with us welcomes her dog aboard.

As for general ideas of sleeping with a baby in bed, what is the SIDS rate for other cultures vs American?

The better question here is are you doing what your doing for the benefit of the child or for you?

My sister in law walked her kids to the end of the driveway to wait on the school bus until they graduated high school. If they were going over to a friends house she would guilt trip them over how much she loved them and would miss them. No surprise little momas boy is so attached to her he has had trouble functioning in society. She did this to him for her benefit.

Same can be said for those who try to establish distance between them and their kids to build healthy independence vs free time for the parents. If its selfishly for parental free time the child may feel alienated and hurt by the rejection. If it on the other hand is done in a supportive manner sensing when the child needs a little extra time lounging on the couch with a parent before going to bed that seems like it should go well.

I do not think any one culture has it all figured out, yet.
 
Back on point this is something that drives me up a wall. I see how parents treat their kids today and it infuriates me. At some point in this country we instilled this notion that everything you do, produce, or is yours is very special. And it is not.

Your dog is not the cutest F-ing dog in the world. Your kid is not the cutest F-ing kid in the world. I do not find him amusing like you do. He is not smarter than everyone else's kid. Everything he does is not special.

I watch as people allow 4 year olds to stay up until midnight and sleep in until noon. They are allowed to throw tantrums and act rude to adults. Many kids today are led to believe that the world revolves around them. I watch these same kids grow into adult babies that everyone else has to take care off. What makes matters worse are helicopter parents who hover over their kids every move so the kid never learns spatial or social awareness.

I like kids but I cannot stand how parents are raising them today.
 
irish_buffalo said:
Back on point this is something that drives me up a wall. I see how parents treat their kids today and it infuriates me. At some point in this country we instilled this notion that everything you do, produce, or is yours is very special. And it is not.

Your dog is not the cutest F-ing dog in the world. Your kid is not the cutest F-ing kid in the world. I do not find him amusing like you do. He is not smarter than everyone else's kid. Everything he does is not special.

I watch as people allow 4 year olds to stay up until midnight and sleep in until noon. They are allowed to throw tantrums and act rude to adults. Many kids today are led to believe that the world revolves around them. I watch these same kids grow into adult babies that everyone else has to take care off. What makes matters worse are helicopter parents who hover over their kids every move so the kid never learns spatial or social awareness.

I like kids but I cannot stand how parents are raising them today.
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I like kids also, it’s the parents who suck
 
irish_buffalo said:
Back on point this is something that drives me up a wall. I see how parents treat their kids today and it infuriates me. At some point in this country we instilled this notion that everything you do, produce, or is yours is very special. And it is not.

Your dog is not the cutest F-ing dog in the world. Your kid is not the cutest F-ing kid in the world. I do not find him amusing like you do. He is not smarter than everyone else's kid. Everything he does is not special.

I watch as people allow 4 year olds to stay up until midnight and sleep in until noon. They are allowed to throw tantrums and act rude to adults. Many kids today are led to believe that the world revolves around them. I watch these same kids grow into adult babies that everyone else has to take care off. What makes matters worse are helicopter parents who hover over their kids every move so the kid never learns spatial or social awareness.

I like kids but I cannot stand how parents are raising them today.
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This is why we can't have nice things. <Shakes curmudgeonly fist at millennials> ;)
 
irish_buffalo said:
Back on point this is something that drives me up a wall. I see how parents treat their kids today and it infuriates me. At some point in this country we instilled this notion that everything you do, produce, or is yours is very special. And it is not.

Your dog is not the cutest F-ing dog in the world. Your kid is not the cutest F-ing kid in the world. I do not find him amusing like you do. He is not smarter than everyone else's kid. Everything he does is not special.

I watch as people allow 4 year olds to stay up until midnight and sleep in until noon. They are allowed to throw tantrums and act rude to adults. Many kids today are led to believe that the world revolves around them. I watch these same kids grow into adult babies that everyone else has to take care off. What makes matters worse are helicopter parents who hover over their kids every move so the kid never learns spatial or social awareness.

I like kids but I cannot stand how parents are raising them today.
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We made fun of the Chinese spoiling their one-child then somehow, we became them.
 
irish_buffalo said:
Back on point this is something that drives me up a wall. I see how parents treat their kids today and it infuriates me. At some point in this country we instilled this notion that everything you do, produce, or is yours is very special. And it is not.

Your dog is not the cutest F-ing dog in the world. Your kid is not the cutest F-ing kid in the world. I do not find him amusing like you do. He is not smarter than everyone else's kid. Everything he does is not special.

I watch as people allow 4 year olds to stay up until midnight and sleep in until noon. They are allowed to throw tantrums and act rude to adults. Many kids today are led to believe that the world revolves around them. I watch these same kids grow into adult babies that everyone else has to take care off. What makes matters worse are helicopter parents who hover over their kids every move so the kid never learns spatial or social awareness.

I like kids but I cannot stand how parents are raising them today.
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As a parent of young children, who technically falls into the millennial classification, I whole-heartedly agree with everything in this post. Too often I hear from parents that "my little Johnny/Susie would never do that..", or "they need to be free to express themselves.." What a joke! Enabling piss poor behavior only results to a more difficult learning curve later in life. I feel bad for these kids because they are never held accountable and when they are, they have no idea what to do about it. Parents are doing their children an immense disservice by not allowing them to fail and learn from that failure.
 
irish_buffalo said:
Back on point this is something that drives me up a wall. I see how parents treat their kids today and it infuriates me. At some point in this country we instilled this notion that everything you do, produce, or is yours is very special. And it is not.

Your dog is not the cutest F-ing dog in the world. Your kid is not the cutest F-ing kid in the world. I do not find him amusing like you do. He is not smarter than everyone else's kid. Everything he does is not special.

I watch as people allow 4 year olds to stay up until midnight and sleep in until noon. They are allowed to throw tantrums and act rude to adults. Many kids today are led to believe that the world revolves around them. I watch these same kids grow into adult babies that everyone else has to take care off. What makes matters worse are helicopter parents who hover over their kids every move so the kid never learns spatial or social awareness.

I like kids but I cannot stand how parents are raising them today.
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Who the hell do you know that's letting a 4 year old stay up that late?! That's like self-torture for a parent. Once my kid goes to bed around 8, that's some of the only free time I have all week! And it usually culminates with me falling asleep on the couch by 10:30.
 
The problem is not how westerners are raising kids, it’s that many are not raising their kids at all.
 
SC10EHS15 said:
Who the hell do you know that's letting a 4 year old stay up that late?! That's like self-torture for a parent. Once my kid goes to bed around 8, that's some of the only free time I have all week! And it usually culminates with me falling asleep on the couch by 10:30.
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You want their number? Lol
 
Omar said:
The problem is not how westerners are raising kids, it’s that many are not raising their kids at all.
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Agree. Too many want to be their friends instead of their parents and are afraid of their kids disliking them. I can say my parents weren't afraid of that lol
 
One thing I often wonder about this generation of parents is how much of an influence the social media construct has become as a baseline for their parenting. I hear from my friends about seeing other families or parents on social media doing this or that, which I assume influences their decisions as parents. It also seems that there is an overwhelming amount of parenting experts and advice given that may not have been there in previous generations. I am not saying this is the reason for some of these parenting issues, but I do wonder how much of an influence there is from social media on this younger generation of parents.
 
Starkbuck said:
One thing I often wonder about this generation of parents is how much of an influence the social media construct has become as a baseline for their parenting. I hear from my friends about seeing other families or parents on social media doing this or that, which I assume influences their decisions as parents. It also seems that there is an overwhelming amount of parenting experts and advice given that may not have been there in previous generations. I am not saying this is the reason for some of these parenting issues, but I do wonder how much of an influence there is from social media on this younger generation of parents.
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So many women become addicted to being "liked" on social media it reinforces fallacies. Not to mention the whole "keeping up with the Joneses." Post pics of your Uber special kids 5x a day thus receiving a bunch of "likes" = my kids are the most special kids on the planet. Many women, NOT ALL, but many, are raised by social media and TV, and are spoiled rotten spending machine cows.

You could probably count on both hands how many pictures you'd find of me and my siblings because mom and dad were busy working to put food on the table to feed all 5 of us. I shared a bed with my Irish twin. We shared clothes. We all had chores. I never considered myself poor even though we were. Nothing was better than growing up in a household of kids even if a belt, some soap, and no dinner were deterrents for poor behavior. :D
 
"Parents who solve all of their children’s problems are mocked as helicopter parents, and their children may lack resilience as adults. Research shows that children flourish when parents show interest in their activities, but if parents become overinvolved and controlling, kids conclude they must not be competent enough to run their own lives. As adults, they are at increased risk to feel dependent on others, and to report greater difficulty coping with life’s challenges.
So solving the problems of your kids is not so destructive, but controlling your kids is. "

https://www.latimes.com/opinion/sto...4B_5eZLgXxvAHegyqv0SY9v1Xaj8nevvfhxUZKkDhH5Eg
 
Hand holding and helicoptering shouldn't be surprising behavior from the current generation of parents. It's how many of them were raised as Millennial children by their Boomer parents in the 90s as all of the trends people love to make fun of, i.e. participation trophies and over-structured activities and play time, began to become norms.

Today and for the last several years I'd argue there's been two distinct parenting styles: one that's near if not entirely non-existent and another that's the overbearing or helicoptering style that probably started 30 or so years ago. I tend to think that the amount of kids raised in the middle ground in-between the two is continuously shrinking.
 
The idea of the 2 parent family is about gone. This is a huge contributing factor. Many a parent today never had an example of parenting.
 
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