Crazy Work Stories

oxat622 said:
we did not spend too much time out of state, and would only visit schools with high-achieving, somewhat affluent students.

So the next morning I'm pulling into schools like Northwest PA Collegiate Academy and Cathedral Prep in a complete wreck. Which honestly was only slightly worse than the Nissan Versa hatchback the airport Enterprise gave me.
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Hopefully you told the kids it was the latest in shabby prep chic, and they fell for it.
 
Not sure it's as much a crazy work story as an eye opening story.

Summer job after graduating high school before going to college. Concrete factory that made manhole boxes, slabs, concrete piping, etc. Tough work, outside in the heat (still one of the hottest summers on record). One day we were waiting to punch out for lunch and several of the guys I worked with were standing outside the gate of the parking lot talking to people in dress pants, button down shirts, carrying note pads. One of the guys behind me said "I would tell those mother f***ers to go to hell!". I wasn't sure what was going on exactly. Get home, tell my dad about it (he is a police detective) and says they are probably their parole/probation officers checking to make sure they are at work. I was a babe in the woods. Lol. But they were actually nice guys.

Crazy moment at winter break job during college....worked at a department store unloading trucks. Lady comes staggering in the entrance by our area bleeding. She had been stabbed in the parking lot.
 
I have many, this is one from way back.
Back in the 90s I was in my mid 20s and started a new business and was just married with my first kid. We were union carpenters and had just signed a international agreement, which meant we could work with up to four "outside the local" individuals before pulling locals to help.
We had trained some guys from New Jersey that we bonded well with and figured we would bring them to help on the next Job with local 17 out of New York, being a young country boy from Ohio and running my first job in the Big apple. what could go wrong?
Things were lined up through the product manufacture and the Unions involved they told me. I was pulling 4 guys from local 17 and along with my partner and the 2 Jersey guys I had meetings with all and everyone was good. Everything was falling into place...Then I was told I also had to hire this union steward. No problem, let's do it.
Well before we even got the first truck unloaded I was told that everyone needed to stop work and meet outside ( around 200 people just standing around for a half hour and I'm getting pissed???) I had no clue. I ask and one guy finally says, "your products are not union made and local 17 also has a problem with the outside carpenters from Jersey ,don't worry little Jonny is coming to fix this, but if you see his trunk pop, hit the deck."

So in pulls this limo and just like the movies two big guys in suits get out of the limo and open the door for another guy in a suit (little Johnny) he walks around shakes hands with a bunch of people and walks off with a few of them. After 5 min or so he says 'where is gneiss rocks" so I step forward and we walk off for a private meeting with one of his men standing guard at the door.
I explain how all I want is to get back to my wife and 1 year old, I do not want any of this crap but a great bonus after that would be to get this done in a week and make money.
Lil Johnny tells me he has it is all worked out and I just need to pay the union steward's wage in cash up front and do not be surprised if he does not show up for work, but try to get along he knows his place and knows very well you are good and there will be no more trouble whatsoever for you.
If you have any more problems just call me, here is my number, call if you have any problems...he looks at me right in the eye and says what number can I reach you at? So I give him my numbers, (think it was pager and hotel number) Then he say's something while looking me right in the eye that I will never forget "just remember once you call this number you can not uncall this number."

After that things got crazy but that is another chapter, I did get the job done.
 
One of my coworkers made a minor mistake in resolving a customer's issue. The customer's response involved sexual slurs and a whole lot of other things.
 
While on a home delivery route a couple months ago, I saw a younger-looking woman walking down the street in sub-freezing temperatures. She was completely naked! A couple guys who were replacing the gutters on a house a few yards closer to her saw her about the same time I did and asked if she needed help. 1 of them gave her his hoodie and pointed her towards the Salvation Army a block away. My best guess is that she was part of somebody's love triangle, got caught in the act, and was thrown out on the street "as is."

A few weeks before that, I delivered to a guy who was on his front sidewalk smoking a joint. As I handed him his stuff, he asked if we had any sorting positions open. I told him I wasn't aware of any but that he should check our website to be sure.
 
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gneiss rocks said:
I have many, this is one from way back.
Back in the 90s I was in my mid 20s and started a new business and was just married with my first kid. We were union carpenters and had just signed a international agreement, which meant we could work with up to four "outside the local" individuals before pulling locals to help.
We had trained some guys from New Jersey that we bonded well with and figured we would bring them to help on the next Job with local 17 out of New York, being a young country boy from Ohio and running my first job in the Big apple. what could go wrong?
Things were lined up through the product manufacture and the Unions involved they told me. I was pulling 4 guys from local 17 and along with my partner and the 2 Jersey guys I had meetings with all and everyone was good. Everything was falling into place...Then I was told I also had to hire this union steward. No problem, let's do it.
Well before we even got the first truck unloaded I was told that everyone needed to stop work and meet outside ( around 200 people just standing around for a half hour and I'm getting pissed???) I had no clue. I ask and one guy finally says, "your products are not union made and local 17 also has a problem with the outside carpenters from Jersey ,don't worry little Jonny is coming to fix this, but if you see his trunk pop, hit the deck."

So in pulls this limo and just like the movies two big guys in suits get out of the limo and open the door for another guy in a suit (little Johnny) he walks around shakes hands with a bunch of people and walks off with a few of them. After 5 min or so he says 'where is gneiss rocks" so I step forward and we walk off for a private meeting with one of his men standing guard at the door.
I explain how all I want is to get back to my wife and 1 year old, I do not want any of this crap but a great bonus after that would be to get this done in a week and make money.
Lil Johnny tells me he has it is all worked out and I just need to pay the union steward's wage in cash up front and do not be surprised if he does not show up for work, but try to get along he knows his place and knows very well you are good and there will be no more trouble whatsoever for you.
If you have any more problems just call me, here is my number, call if you have any problems...he looks at me right in the eye and says what number can I reach you at? So I give him my numbers, (think it was pager and hotel number) Then he say's something while looking me right in the eye that I will never forget "just remember once you call this number you can not uncall this number."

After that things got crazy but that is another chapter, I did get the job done.
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WTF Gneiss! Ya never told me that one!
 
I had a co worker who was an alcoholic. I never saw any indication at work that she was an alcoholic, but had heard she was. One Monday morning she came in wearing sweat pants and her belly looked like she was pregnant. After just seeing her on Friday before she left for home..and she was normal..this alone was quite a shock. What was more shocking was that she acted like everything was ok. Her liver/kidneys were failing.

5 days later she died.
 
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Occasionally help out at a local dive bar. Had a dude try to choke out his own uncle. Both were regulars so it was awkward. Had to ban them for a month.
 
CedarBuck92 said:
The irony is we are a growing department. I'm really interested to see how reviews actually go this year.
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So update: Decision was made that failing the whole department was a really bad idea. So most people got some form of the "doing what's expected but not going above and beyond". All raises and bonuses were terrible (in comparison to previous years).
 
gneiss rocks said:
I have many, this is one from way back.
Back in the 90s I was in my mid 20s and started a new business and was just married with my first kid. We were union carpenters and had just signed a international agreement, which meant we could work with up to four "outside the local" individuals before pulling locals to help.
We had trained some guys from New Jersey that we bonded well with and figured we would bring them to help on the next Job with local 17 out of New York, being a young country boy from Ohio and running my first job in the Big apple. what could go wrong?
Things were lined up through the product manufacture and the Unions involved they told me. I was pulling 4 guys from local 17 and along with my partner and the 2 Jersey guys I had meetings with all and everyone was good. Everything was falling into place...Then I was told I also had to hire this union steward. No problem, let's do it.
Well before we even got the first truck unloaded I was told that everyone needed to stop work and meet outside ( around 200 people just standing around for a half hour and I'm getting pissed???) I had no clue. I ask and one guy finally says, "your products are not union made and local 17 also has a problem with the outside carpenters from Jersey ,don't worry little Jonny is coming to fix this, but if you see his trunk pop, hit the deck."

So in pulls this limo and just like the movies two big guys in suits get out of the limo and open the door for another guy in a suit (little Johnny) he walks around shakes hands with a bunch of people and walks off with a few of them. After 5 min or so he says 'where is gneiss rocks" so I step forward and we walk off for a private meeting with one of his men standing guard at the door.
I explain how all I want is to get back to my wife and 1 year old, I do not want any of this crap but a great bonus after that would be to get this done in a week and make money.
Lil Johnny tells me he has it is all worked out and I just need to pay the union steward's wage in cash up front and do not be surprised if he does not show up for work, but try to get along he knows his place and knows very well you are good and there will be no more trouble whatsoever for you.
If you have any more problems just call me, here is my number, call if you have any problems...he looks at me right in the eye and says what number can I reach you at? So I give him my numbers, (think it was pager and hotel number) Then he say's something while looking me right in the eye that I will never forget "just remember once you call this number you can not uncall this number."

After that things got crazy but that is another chapter, I did get the job done.
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My great-grandfather (born and raised Calabrese) gave my grandfather a major piece of advice regarding "these people" back in the 50s/60s - never owe them anything, and never make them think you owe them a favor. I'm sure he would've said don't you ever call that number. Lol.
 
Mr. Slippery said:
While on a home delivery route a couple months ago, I saw a younger-looking woman walking down the street in sub-freezing temperatures. She was completely naked! A couple guys who were replacing the gutters on a house a few yards closer to her saw her about the same time I did and asked if she needed help. 1 of them gave her his hoodie and pointed her towards the Salvation Army a block away. My best guess is that she was part of somebody's love triangle, got caught in the act, and was thrown out on the street "as is."

A few weeks before that, I delivered to a guy who was on his front sidewalk smoking a joint. As I handed him his stuff, he asked if we had any sorting positions open. I told him I wasn't aware of any but that he should check our website to be sure.
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Sorting stems and seeds from the buds.
 
CedarBuck92 said:
This one may not be quite in the realm of what you are looking for. My company does yearly reviews in March and goal setting in April. Goal setting is really just upper management deciding what they want to grade us on for the next year.

Last year, I had just received my review. I got the second highest "grade" possible and my supervisor had great hope that I could top out this year. 1 Week later our goals were released. All 3 of they were impossible goals. I walked back into my supervisors office and told him if these goals stood the whole department would fail. He didn't believe me.

Not a single person met their goals this year.
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New year of goals, same horsesh*t as last year.
 
My boss has failed to retain any employee hired over the last 15 years.

It's probably 30+ people at this point.
 
I was in college and working at a factory in the summer while living with my parents and siblings. I happened to have had quite a bit too much to drink on a weekday evening. I called in sick the next morning, explaining that I had an earache. My youngest brother, who was around 6 years old yelled into the phone, "He doesn't have an earache. He has a beer ache!" I had no idea he was that perceptive.The next day I expected to hear some pretty stern speech form the personnel office and sweated it out the rest of the day waiting for repercussions. Luckily there were none.
 
First summer out of high school I worked at Kings Island as a games carny. At the start of every shift, after clocking in, you reported to a "bank" on-site where you would receive $500 in cash (5 stacks of $100) and money apron to make change with customers. You turned in that cash at the end of every shift and as long as your variance was within a dollar or two, you were never in trouble.

One day, I was counting my cash at the end of my shift getting ready to turn it in and realized I had an extra stack of $100 buried deep in my apron. Essentially, I was accidentally given $600 at the start of my shift instead of $500, but was only responsible for turning in $500 when I was done. I probably could have walked out with the extra cash and have been fine, but decided to do the right thing and turn in all of the money, explaining that I just realized I had the extra $100 on me.

I go to clock in the next day for my shift and got called in to a supervisor's office to be written up for the excessive cash variance. I didn't take it personal as I realized it was protocol, but I made it my point from that point forward to get every dollar back from that $100 I could have taken. I worked in a warehouse on-site for the next two summers and more than made the money back from grabbing loose sodas/energy drinks every day that were supposed to be sold as merchandise and consuming them on the spot.
 
Chop Stix said:
First summer out of high school I worked at Kings Island as a games carny. At the start of every shift, after clocking in, you reported to a "bank" on-site where you would receive $500 in cash (5 stacks of $100) and money apron to make change with customers. You turned in that cash at the end of every shift and as long as your variance was within a dollar or two, you were never in trouble.

One day, I was counting my cash at the end of my shift getting ready to turn it in and realized I had an extra stack of $100 buried deep in my apron. Essentially, I was accidentally given $600 at the start of my shift instead of $500, but was only responsible for turning in $500 when I was done. I probably could have walked out with the extra cash and have been fine, but decided to do the right thing and turn in all of the money, explaining that I just realized I had the extra $100 on me.

I go to clock in the next day for my shift and got called in to a supervisor's office to be written up for the excessive cash variance. I didn't take it personal as I realized it was protocol, but I made it my point from that point forward to get every dollar back from that $100 I could have taken. I worked in a warehouse on-site for the next two summers and more than made the money back from grabbing loose sodas/energy drinks every day that were supposed to be sold as merchandise and consuming them on the spot.
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No good deed goes unpunished. I would have 100% said something to the effect of "So if I just walked out with the extra 100 I wouldn't be in trouble?" Make them admit that they are writing you up for doing the right thing.
 
I'm over 70 and hearing gas being passed at inappropriate times still is a high form of humor for me. I was teaching at a Catholic school in the 70's, and was in the teacher's lounge one day with my buddy, a fellow teacher, when a rather large nun, also a teacher, entered the adjacent bathroom. She proceeded to cut loose with quite a loud session of high-decible wind-breaking, driving us to uncontrolled howls of laughter. We had to run outside to try to get under control.
 
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