Right now, I think that you're an unduly smug shmuck, and an utter buffoon that's trying too hard to be something he's not, for an audience of himself.
You're a trope. An old, played-out one.
I’ve got a pretty good idea what’s out there now, too, princess. Don’t worry about me. The kids are that much more sophisticated as well.
If the content is limited by age, according to law, it only makes sense that the content provider should have to verify age of the user. There’s no big trick...
As a parent, in a diverse suburban public school system, I can remember 12 year-olds having “jailbroken” phones 15 years ago. You put the gate directly in front of the problem, the website. Quit being stupid.