curfew

 
For a girl yes. Boy is midnight. But whatever you are comfortable with, at least you are putting a curfew on them. My oldest son (22) doesn't have a curfew but he texts me to let me know if he isn't coming home or will be really late. My other son (18) usually strolls in around 12:30 and will also text me if he isn't coming home or will be later than usual. My daughter who just started driving is going to be on an 11:30 curfew on the weekends, 10:00 during the week. Obviously that can change depending on what she is doing. Late movies etc. parties are not an excuse to stay past curfew.
 
Definitely. Mine was 10:00 pm when I turned 16 and got my license. After about six months, it was 11:00 pm, unless I was crashing elsewhere.
 
Yes, but I would completely expect that 16 year old to argue that you are being unfair and that it should be later! Being a parent is rough...

My parents never really set an exact curfew w/me. Pretty much a case-by-case basis. They would let me stay out much later then 11:00 as i got older but they wanted to know where I was, who I was with and when I would be home. If they caught/suspected I was lying, that deal was done and they gave me a set earlier time. I was good about letting them know, some of my other siblings were not.
 
Slide-by said:
Is 1100pm a reasonable time for your 16 year old driver to return home?
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Yes, but only later under certain circumstances. We've raised four kids and we set limits. When they were older, in college, and living at home, we asked them to check in, call or text, and wake us when they arrived home.
 
My parents were divorced and I lived with my mother throughout high school. I never had a curfew growing up.
 
Slide-by said:
Is 1100pm a reasonable time for your 16 year old driver to return home?
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It's a great place to start, or a good general rule. Once he demonstrates that he can follow the rule, I wouldn't hesitate to give him more time on occasions that merit it, right ?

If he's going bowling or shooting pool at 7, he doesn't need more time. If he's going to a later movie, and wants to eat after, he might. You could always have a default curfew, with exceptions. You'll help him develop negotiating skills. Just make him be transparent and stick to his word.
 
With a widowed mother it was hard for her to actually enforce a curfew. It existed pretty much in name only. Never got punished for being late or I moaned about it until she was sick of hearing it. My older sister had MUCH more leeway so I usually threw that fact in her face and she relented.

My dad would of buried his foot in my arse. God rest his soul.
 
God rest his soul.

A mom and a dad both is the ideal situation. Both have their strong points, and they should work together for the kid's benefit. Sometimes, as in your case, tragedy upsets that balance, and sometimes it's just selfishness on the part of the parents. Too bad our society refuses to acknowledge this.
 
Thanks for the input guys. We (my son and I) had a pretty good argument last night. Usually on weekends it's midnight. but he was gone yesterday with his girlfriend's family from 10 in the morning until I called him at 10 that night and said just be home at 11. I wasn't sure about when the white death was supposed to roll in, and I just thought he'd been gone long enough.
 
Slide-by said:
Thanks for the input guys. We (my son and I) had a pretty good argument last night. Usually on weekends it's midnight. but he was gone yesterday with his girlfriend's family from 10 in the morning until I called him at 10 that night and said just be home at 11. I wasn't sure about when the white death was supposed to roll in, and I just thought he'd been gone long enough.
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We always wanted to know where our kids were, who they were with, and what they were doing. None of them seem to be damaged by the process. They may not have liked it at the time, but as they became adults, they realized why we did what we did.
 
111411 said:
We always wanted to know where our kids were, who they were with, and what they were doing. None of them seem to be damaged by the process. They may not have liked it at the time, but as they became adults, they realized why we did what we did.
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+1 That's how my parents raised me and it went for my kids too...

Curfew; generally if just out and about (as a preteen) - home by when the
street lights came on!

:>---

1968 Camaro convertible
 
Trevor Gta said:
For a girl yes. Boy is midnight. But whatever you are comfortable with, at least you are putting a curfew on them. My oldest son (22) doesn't have a curfew but he texts me to let me know if he isn't coming home or will be really late. My other son (18) usually strolls in around 12:30 and will also text me if he isn't coming home or will be later than usual. My daughter who just started driving is going to be on an 11:30 curfew on the weekends, 10:00 during the week. Obviously that can change depending on what she is doing. Late movies etc. parties are not an excuse to stay past curfew.
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wut?
 
Never had one after the age of 16. I would come home at 430 AM at times in HS. Just probably depends on how trusting your kids are. I never gave my parents a reason to give me one....

I know a girl who lives at home at age 26 and she still has a curfew of 2 AM....
 
I think my curfews stopped around 16 or 17, I never did anything to break the trust of not having to report in. I'm sure if I ruined that, I would've probably had a curfew. I would normally send a text if my plans changed and I wasn't coming home. When I lived at home in my early 20s, I never had to justify anything I did, IDK why your 22 year old son is doing that.
 
TheBigGulp said:
I think my curfews stopped around 16 or 17, I never did anything to break the trust of not having to report in. I'm sure if I ruined that, I would've probably had a curfew. I would normally send a text if my plans changed and I wasn't coming home. When I lived at home in my early 20s, I never had to justify anything I did, IDK why your 22 year old son is doing that.
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Lol where is he justifying anything???

I guess it is called respect. I appreciate that he does let me know when to expect him or not to expect him, as a parent you worry about your kids no matter how old they get. I certainly am not demanding him to do so, but he does it anyway.

I bet your parents are proud that you hate them.
 
Trevor Gta said:
Lol where is he justifying anything???

I guess it is called respect. I appreciate that he does let me know when to expect him or not to expect him, as a parent you worry about your kids no matter how old they get. I certainly am not demanding him to do so, but he does it anyway.

I bet your parents are proud that you hate them.
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I don't know why the bolded was needed. Why dont you go EABOS and report back on how it tastes?
 
Trevor Gta said:
What are you wutting?
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Sounds like you and your oldest communicate. It's always nice to know that your kid's not dead in a ditch. It's also smart to give you a heads-up, in case you might think he was already in and hear him knocking around..... would hate to draw a bead on your own kid......
 
FanDad said:
Sounds like you and your oldest communicate. It's always nice to know that your kid's not dead in a ditch. It's also smart to give you a heads-up, in case you might think he was already in and hear him knocking around..... would hate to draw a bead on your own kid......
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That is kind of the way I look at it....I am not going to tell him to stop. Tbg hates his mom and dad, that isn't my fault he likes to keep them worrying. It isn't like tbg is the smartest guy out there.
 
Not sure why it's terrible a 22 yo, who lives at home, would let his parents know if he was coming home in the evening. It's polite and respectful, IMO.
 
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