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  #1  
Old 02-27-18, 08:05 PM
Jrob77 Jrob77 is offline
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Unhappy Ohio transgender teen outed by wrestling coach, mom says

http://m.fox19.com/story/37607075/tr...coach-mom-says

As reported on FOX19

WILMINGTON, OH (FOX19) - A freshman wrestler at Wilmington High School said he left the team after a coach revealed his transgender identity in front of his classmates.

Aiden Pogue-Krabacher claims Coach Kelly Tolliver “outed” him to the entire wrestling team. Tolliver made it clear that he didn’t want Aiden changing in the boy’s locker room and insisted that Aiden was a girl, the teen claims.

The Wilmington School Board confirms the incident is under investigation.


Aiden said he told Tolliver that he was not a girl, but the coach “still proceeded to say, ‘yes you are’ and kicked me out,” Aiden said.

He was then forced to change in the visiting girl’s locker room.

“We don’t discriminate against anyone,” said Wilmington Schools Board President Marty Beaugard. “That’s all I can say right now because everything is still under investigation."

Aiden was in sixth grade and still going by the name “Aubry” when he started wrestling with boys. Now in the ninth grade, he says he’s about 70 percent through his transition.

After finding out he was trans, other wrestlers threatened and bullied Aiden. His mom claims the coach did nothing about it.

[Get breaking news alerts on the FOX19 NOW mobile app]

“Not only did Coach Tolliver announce to the entire team that Aiden is transgender, he publicly humiliated him in front of his classmates with privileged, medical information is had no business sharing,” his mom said at a school board meeting Monday.

A phone message left for Coach Tolliver was not answered. A school representative said Wilmington Schools Superintendent Mindy McCarty-Stewart was in meetings all day and would not be available for comment.

Copyright 2018 WXIX. All rights reserved.
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  #2  
Old 02-27-18, 08:58 PM
4rosskids 4rosskids is offline
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Well I guess my son was right after all....I was being to strict when I told him he was to young to get a tattoo at the age of 15.
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  #3  
Old 02-27-18, 09:12 PM
Mr. Red Mr. Red is offline
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1) Is upset that she was outed in front of her teammates yet goes on camera in front of thousands of people to tell her story - something doesn’t jive.

2) Those other young men deserve just as much privacy as she does. It seems like she was more concerned about her ability to change in the boys locker room than wrestle.

3) 10:1 the school board caves due to political correctness.


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  #4  
Old 02-27-18, 09:17 PM
Lambeau Fields Lambeau Fields is offline
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The coach was right in having the person with the vagina change in a different locker room regardless of the name attached to it. Just as I would expect a coach to keep penises out of my daughter's locker room. Our previous White House occupant tried to force this social chaos upon us by executive fiat. That action was rightfully overturned.
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  #5  
Old 02-27-18, 09:39 PM
Neverwrestled Neverwrestled is offline
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That would be so uncomfortable for the rest of the team especially when they hit the showers .Coach made right decision don’t even know how you could argue until she was 100% converted. Even after that I personally don’t think I would be ok with it.
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  #6  
Old 02-27-18, 09:49 PM
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EagleFan EagleFan is offline
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It's a complex world these days and these issues need to be worked out in society, without destroying individuals like this coach along the way. It is not as simple as liberals will say it is.
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  #7  
Old 02-27-18, 10:04 PM
Wtownwrestler Wtownwrestler is offline
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I don't feel this is a thread that needs to be going on the week of districts. yes the parents made perfect timing on their outing the story. but now the kids have to deal with all the question from everybody. Instead of getting ready for what could be the last time they stepping on the mat.
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  #8  
Old 02-27-18, 10:18 PM
Getbax Getbax is offline
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One thread we congratulate a transgender another we defend the situation tough all the way around it's been tough to deal with all year everywhere all situations could have been handled much better... just my thoughts.
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  #9  
Old 02-27-18, 10:27 PM
Gardens35 Gardens35 is online now
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Right, not one teammate/classmate knew that Aubry was transitioning to Aiden until the coach said so.
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  #10  
Old 02-27-18, 10:32 PM
TakeDown77 TakeDown77 is offline
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Another snowflake attempting to scapegoat someone and their livelihood by going to the news.
At the end of the day, this is the times we live in but still makes me sick. Yes, I said it.
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  #11  
Old 02-27-18, 11:05 PM
roughedge roughedge is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Gardens35 View Post
Right, not one teammate/classmate knew that Aubry was transitioning to Aiden until the coach said so.
So because no one knew makes it right. The coach has other kids on the team to protect. Maybe he should of handle a little different but Aubrey should be showering and changing in a room away from others.
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  #12  
Old 02-27-18, 11:05 PM
Crab Ride Crab Ride is offline
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Originally Posted by Gardens35 View Post
Right, not one teammate/classmate knew that Aubry was transitioning to Aiden until the coach said so.
MY thoughts exactly. I think when Aubrey got an adams apple and said “my name is now Aiden” the whole school knew.
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  #13  
Old 02-27-18, 11:16 PM
Getbax Getbax is offline
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Not really sure what you consider a livelihood but coaching high school wrestling is definitely a livelihood you can not make a living on. Should have been handled by the school much better like I said tough situation they were obviously not prepared to handle,as a coach that's your job it's sad let's defend this week but not every week getting to this point you can't have it both ways.
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  #14  
Old 02-27-18, 11:39 PM
craftAmaniac craftAmaniac is offline
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My issue is when I was in high school I wanted to be a black rapper with a cool name like J$.
Now I want to be a corporate leader in the financial sector. My point is how the heck does a teenager know what they want to be. The average college student changes their major 3 times and that is the age 18 thru 22. This is a 14 thru 18 year old.
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  #15  
Old 02-28-18, 03:05 AM
wash.c.h.legend wash.c.h.legend is offline
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Ohio transgender teen outed by wrestling coach, mom says

No winners here.
Good luck
I think to start. If ever faced with these situations involving boys and girls, or in this case, a non traditional situation. Always seek advice from school administrators. How do they want things handled?


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  #16  
Old 02-28-18, 03:15 AM
NEohiowrestler NEohiowrestler is offline
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Coach acted on impulse and stretched his power. The coach doesn’t get to decide where Aiden gets dressed, leave that up to the AD and administrators. How can Aiden assimilate to the team as one of the boys when the coach separates him from the locker room and announces that he is transitioning? This is a kid who doesn’t “want” to be male because it’s a fad, he has been undergoing therapy for 3 years and this is a body he feels more comfortable in, for reasons unknown. Either way, the coach’s actions led to unnecessary humiliation, and this is why there are extensive programs, training, and paperwork set in place for these types of positions. Clearly this coach needs to review his training. Instead of working with a transgender teenager, it was much easier to let the kid get humiliated and quit huh? Pathetic.
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  #17  
Old 02-28-18, 03:39 AM
jmog jmog is online now
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Quote:
Originally Posted by NEohiowrestler View Post
Coach acted on impulse and stretched his power. The coach doesn’t get to decide where Aiden gets dressed, leave that up to the AD and administrators. How can Aiden assimilate to the team as one of the boys when the coach separates him from the locker room and announces that he is transitioning? This is a kid who doesn’t “want” to be male because it’s a fad, he has been undergoing therapy for 3 years and this is a body he feels more comfortable in, for reasons unknown. Either way, the coach’s actions led to unnecessary humiliation, and this is why there are extensive programs, training, and paperwork set in place for these types of positions. Clearly this coach needs to review his training. Instead of working with a transgender teenager, it was much easier to let the kid get humiliated and quit huh? Pathetic.
Not to be crude, but this is a serious question.

Where should the boy with a vagina dress and shower?

The girls that were on our team this year dressed and showered in the next locker room over and no one complained about being “not part of the team”.
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  #18  
Old 02-28-18, 04:14 AM
NEohiowrestler NEohiowrestler is offline
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Originally Posted by jmog View Post
Not to be crude, but this is a serious question.

Where should the boy with a vagina dress and shower?

The girls that were on our team this year dressed and showered in the next locker room over and no one complained about being “not part of the team”.

It’s not an easy solution, but the boy with a vagina should dress and shower with the other boys. He’s not growing boobs, and he’s growing facial hair. There are many lessons to learn when being part of a team, and acceptance and support of fellow teammates is one of them. This situation could have been utilized as a positive way to teach a life lesson to these athletes, but was instead turned into something negative - alienating and bullying a wrestler who is probably going through a lot of emotional turmoil. A freshman in high school wants to feel accepted. I can only imagine the anguish this kid feels. Transgender suicide rates are ~ 50%, and wrestling could have been his outlet (he’s kept it up for the last 3-4 years). If boys want to harass the guy with a vagina, the coach should step up and discipline his team, and stand up for Aiden. They need to understand that this is the real world, where transgenders, although a very small minority, are a part of our society and should be accepted. These are high schoolers, not elementary children; they’ve taken a health class. They’ve had some exposure to real life, and if they can’t be sensitive and supportive to their teammate, they can at least be accepting. There will be transgenders in their locker rooms when they go to a college with 10,000+ students.
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  #19  
Old 02-28-18, 05:39 AM
Mr. Red Mr. Red is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by NEohiowrestler View Post
It’s not an easy solution, but the boy with a vagina should dress and shower with the other boys. He’s not growing boobs, and he’s growing facial hair. There are many lessons to learn when being part of a team, and acceptance and support of fellow teammates is one of them. This situation could have been utilized as a positive way to teach a life lesson to these athletes, but was instead turned into something negative - alienating and bullying a wrestler who is probably going through a lot of emotional turmoil. A freshman in high school wants to feel accepted. I can only imagine the anguish this kid feels. Transgender suicide rates are ~ 50%, and wrestling could have been his outlet (he’s kept it up for the last 3-4 years). If boys want to harass the guy with a vagina, the coach should step up and discipline his team, and stand up for Aiden. They need to understand that this is the real world, where transgenders, although a very small minority, are a part of our society and should be accepted. These are high schoolers, not elementary children; they’ve taken a health class. They’ve had some exposure to real life, and if they can’t be sensitive and supportive to their teammate, they can at least be accepting. There will be transgenders in their locker rooms when they go to a college with 10,000+ students.


I’m not trying to be argumentative, but I completely disagree. The girl should be dressing and showering with girls. I’m completely supportive of girls and whoever Wrestling, but there is a certain level of privacy that we are all entitled to. I would be complete against a transitioning male wanting to shower with the girls basketball team. In fact, I’m willing to say the argument would be a little different if this were a young man “transitioning” to a young woman and insisting on showering with the girls.

Quite frankly, this is a mental health disorder that we are not addressing properly because the social justice warriors have tried to convince us that this is normal. I feel awful for the kid involved. She has a lot of issues that I wouldn’t wish on anyone and it must be a terrible. In other aspects of society, if I woke up and “identified” as someone I was not, I would get the psychiatric help that I needed. Unfortunately, we’re in a time in history where we’ve lost our minds. By the way, you are correct, transgender individuals do have a high suicide rate. Unfortunately that does not change when they transition no matter how much they are accepted. These poor kids have issues that we are not treating.


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  #20  
Old 02-28-18, 05:49 AM
1_beast 1_beast is offline
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Originally Posted by roughedge View Post
So because no one knew makes it right. The coach has other kids on the team to protect. Maybe he should of handle a little different but Aubrey should be showering and changing in a room away from others.
My kid wants his own private shower too
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  #21  
Old 02-28-18, 06:39 AM
spladlemaster spladlemaster is offline
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I know one thing, I hope all the other parents and wrestlers this week are worrying about where Aubry takes a shower. My son is concentrating on Districts and will be showering at the Schott.
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  #22  
Old 02-28-18, 06:40 AM
jmog jmog is online now
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Originally Posted by NEohiowrestler View Post
It’s not an easy solution, but the boy with a vagina should dress and shower with the other boys. He’s not growing boobs, and he’s growing facial hair. There are many lessons to learn when being part of a team, and acceptance and support of fellow teammates is one of them. This situation could have been utilized as a positive way to teach a life lesson to these athletes, but was instead turned into something negative - alienating and bullying a wrestler who is probably going through a lot of emotional turmoil. A freshman in high school wants to feel accepted. I can only imagine the anguish this kid feels. Transgender suicide rates are ~ 50%, and wrestling could have been his outlet (he’s kept it up for the last 3-4 years). If boys want to harass the guy with a vagina, the coach should step up and discipline his team, and stand up for Aiden. They need to understand that this is the real world, where transgenders, although a very small minority, are a part of our society and should be accepted. These are high schoolers, not elementary children; they’ve taken a health class. They’ve had some exposure to real life, and if they can’t be sensitive and supportive to their teammate, they can at least be accepting. There will be transgenders in their locker rooms when they go to a college with 10,000+ students.
You can’t be serious that they should shower together. All for political correctness.

I have no issues with transgender but to have them shower together pre-surgery is just an asinine position.
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  #23  
Old 02-28-18, 06:44 AM
Granimal Granimal is offline
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Where does a person born with both sets of genitalia dress? Yes, it happens at birth. And sometimes the parents make the wrong choice for their infant. And sometimes they wait until the child is an adult to allow him/her to decide which if any parts to remove. In the meantime who are you protecting? And from what, if this person chooses a shower or restroom? All of this is so rare (including trans). No one is in danger except the child who is being treated in an unkind way because he or she is different.


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  #24  
Old 02-28-18, 06:57 AM
roughedge roughedge is offline
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Originally Posted by 1_beast View Post
My kid wants his own private shower too
Have your kid shower last and will have locker room to self
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  #25  
Old 02-28-18, 07:18 AM
born_to_wrestle born_to_wrestle is offline
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Regardless of your view on the transgender population, the bigger picture here is the wrestling community. I grew up at a time when wrestlers were considered bullies, dumb jocks. My coach did everything he could to change that image. We were taught to respect everyone in our school. You were told to walk tall, represent yourself, family, school, and team, and to look out for people who were in need of support.
As a team, we stood up for one another, it didn't matter where someone was from, their religion, their sexuality.... a wrestler is a wrestler. That is what I was most proud of, and what I share with my kids about wrestling.
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Old 02-28-18, 08:04 AM
WGTJ WGTJ is offline
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I can't believe some of what I read in here.

It's the coaches job to protect the other wrestlers? What about this transgender wrestler? Oh, because he is different, can't protect him! Instead, humiliate him in front of everyone.

You don't want the "boys" to shower in the same place as the transitioning teen? Why? Because they will sexually assault him? News for you - sexual assault is almost never about sex, it's about power. And your boy could just as easily be sexually assaulted by another boy.
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Old 02-28-18, 08:08 AM
CoachMorgan CoachMorgan is offline
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Originally Posted by WGTJ View Post
I can't believe some of what I read in here.

It's the coaches job to protect the other wrestlers? What about this transgender wrestler? Oh, because he is different, can't protect him! Instead, humiliate him in front of everyone.

You don't want the "boys" to shower in the same place as the transitioning teen? Why? Because they will sexually assault him? News for you - sexual assault is almost never about sex, it's about power. And your boy could just as easily be sexually assaulted by another boy.
The number one job of a Coach or Referee/Umpire is to protect the safety of the student-athletes. Thank you for the reasonable response.
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Old 02-28-18, 08:14 AM
jmog jmog is online now
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Originally Posted by Granimal View Post
Where does a person born with both sets of genitalia dress? Yes, it happens at birth. And sometimes the parents make the wrong choice for their infant. And sometimes they wait until the child is an adult to allow him/her to decide which if any parts to remove. In the meantime who are you protecting? And from what, if this person chooses a shower or restroom? All of this is so rare (including trans). No one is in danger except the child who is being treated in an unkind way because he or she is different.


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You are talking about 0.05% of the population born that way and trying to create a rule. Since most parents make a "choice" at the infancy stage and have surgery to set one set of genitalia in hermaphrodites, the actual percentage of hermaphrodites in adolescence (high school) is staggeringly lower. On top of that you are talking about now a hermaphrodite that still has both sets as a teenager AND is playing a somewhat fringe (in numbers compared to others) sport in wrestling...

It statistically isn't going to happen.

Also, a to be quite honest, most hermaphrodites, having both sets of genetalia and given the fact that most JH/HS boys 'cover up' when they go to the shower, one would never know if the kid was a hermaphrodite or a male. The same could not be said for someone with just a vagina. It becomes quite obvious if something isn't "sticking out" through the hair.
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  #29  
Old 02-28-18, 08:17 AM
jmog jmog is online now
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Originally Posted by CoachMorgan View Post
The number one job of a Coach or Referee/Umpire is to protect the safety of the student-athletes. Thank you for the reasonable response.
Oh I agree 100% that the coach, if he made it public to the team, is 100% an idiot and wrong. Now, while I agree that since their genitalia is different they should shower different, the coach should have pulled the boy aside and discussed a discrete way to shower separately without informing the group.

Our team manages it with girls on the team and no one had a single issue all year. Our school had never had a girl at all wrestle in JH or HS before this year, and this year we had 2 JH girls and 1 HS girl. No shower issues at all.
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Old 02-28-18, 08:19 AM
ShyGuy ShyGuy is offline
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Why are we dealing with this in High School? Shouldn’t one wait until they are mature enough to make this decision? What parent allows their child to drastically alter their body when they don’t even know what they want to do for a living yet?
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