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  #1  
Old 12-14-18, 11:45 AM
Qcity Qcity is offline
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Parents are nuts: Niles coach resigns after parental interference

http://www.vindy.com/news/2018/dec/1...arental-inter/


The lack of respect, manners, decency is alarming; it is a high school game for God's sake.
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  #2  
Old 12-14-18, 12:25 PM
coachablekid coachablekid is offline
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Yes they are!
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  #3  
Old 12-17-18, 02:54 PM
Qcity Qcity is offline
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http://www.vindy.com/news/2018/dec/1...ing-the-roost/


Bingo


https://www.vindy.com/news/2018/dec/...ouble-dribble/
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  #4  
Old 12-18-18, 09:46 AM
realball4468 realball4468 is offline
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Good read. Sad situation.

No coach can survive without the support of the AD, super, and BOE.

A lot of great coaches/people have been thrown to the wolves.

I'd rather have my kid play for a person that is going to make them a better human being and teach them life lessons, through sports, to prepare them how to handle life situations.
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  #5  
Old 12-18-18, 02:01 PM
CoachHoversten CoachHoversten is offline
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I have little to no experience coaching basketball, but I am so glad I only coached wrestling, a sport that has no cuts and varsity is determined by head to head wrestle offs, no coaches judgement involved.

I am not surprised by this...somewhere around 10 years ago a massive shift in youth sports occurred in terms of parenting and now those kids are in high school.

I won't say where or even gender, but I tutored a middle school student for the first few months of school...then basketball tryouts came around...and this student was cut from the team. The parents informed me that my tutoring services were not going to be needed anymore as they were moving districts, to a place where "the coaches value talent".

Crazy
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  #6  
Old 12-19-18, 01:27 PM
coldshoulder coldshoulder is offline
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Another local media voice speaks out:

http://www.tribtoday.com/sports/spor...ZtwCOgEFos3YUc
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  #7  
Old 12-28-18, 05:11 AM
1ofthe6 1ofthe6 is offline
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This issue is huge. It's not limited to any given school, geographical area, sport, or gender. It's been going on for thirty or more years and worsening all the time. It reveals the lack of character in our citizens. Our adults are more and more resembling kids in their behavior.

First of all, there's this. I'm 71 years old. When I was a kid myself, growing up in the fifties and early sixties, this country was more civilized. Adults respected and trusted other adults. If a kid did something wrong while playing at a friend's house, his parents would hear about it. The parents would not only believe what they had heard, but they would be glad they were told, they'd apologize for their child's behavior, and he or she would soon be sorry for what they did. Guess what? Because this was the way things worked, there were far fewer incidents of troubling behavior by either the kids OR the adults.

I coached girls' volleyball from the early nineties until around 2010. School and J.O., from the youngest to the oldest. Only at the youngest J.O. level were there no problems. I've often thought back, given the heartaches, why I stuck with it for so long.

I had a player with an injured shoulder. She was a starting outside hitter and wanted to play in a given match. I watched her during warm-ups and after a few minutes she was in tears from hitting and serving. I held her out of the match, fearing, most of all, further damage to the shoulder. After the match, her mother came charging down from the bleachers to loudly berate me for not playing her injured daughter. She knew the rules: no contact with the coach on game day, and never without an appointment. And isn't it supposed to be the callous win-at-any-cost coach who forces injured players onto the court or field? Not anymore.

At a J.O. tournament I walked into the auxiliary gym where we were camped out. Two girls were playing keep-away from a third girl, our head coach's daughter. One of the girls threw the ball to me. Before I could say or do anything, the coach's daughter yelled loudly at me, "GIVE ME THAT BALL!" I did, without a word.
I sat on this incident for several days, but it gnawed on me so I told the head coach. Her immediate reaction was that her daughter would never do anything like that, implying that I must be lying.

The night before a 16's J.O. tournament our club director asked if I could give up one of our girls to "play up", to join our 18's team for that one Saturday, otherwise they would be short a player. I didn't really like doing it, but felt obligated. However, the girl that I called, and her parents, were overjoyed at this "promotion".
The next day both teams happened to be playing at the same site in different gyms. After the 18's team lost their first two matches, the girl's father came into our gym, and just as we were getting underway started yelling at me about the situation. Luckily my assistant coach was able to usher him away.

Same team, later in the season. A different father called me several times during the week to let me know that his daughter was out of school with mono and would be unavailable for Saturday's tournament. Then, suddenly, Friday evening he called to tell me she was fine and would be at the tourney. This despite missing a full week of school.
I played her in her regular spot and she was fine. Until the championship match when she began to falter, netting balls and hitting others out. I subbed her out.
We lost the match on a dicey call at the end. This girl's father was not at the match but her mother stared daggers at me at our campsite. That night I got an irate call from the father, who seemed to have forgotten all about the mono and even admitted to me that it was his wife's nagging that got him to make the nasty call. Unbelievable.

These are just a few of the many tales from over the years. Numerous times girls (never the twelves) treated teammates, my assistants, or myself with disrespect, but only when their parents were not in the area.

When I started coaching it was hard to find a job, given that I was only a former player but had no coaching experience. As the years went by, fewer and fewer qualified people were interested in coaching, as they'd either heard or found out first-hand what parents could be like.
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  #8  
Old 12-30-18, 01:17 PM
hoban2020 hoban2020 is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by 1ofthe6 View Post
This issue is huge. It's not limited to any given school, geographical area, sport, or gender. It's been going on for thirty or more years and worsening all the time. It reveals the lack of character in our citizens. Our adults are more and more resembling kids in their behavior.

First of all, there's this. I'm 71 years old. When I was a kid myself, growing up in the fifties and early sixties, this country was more civilized. Adults respected and trusted other adults. If a kid did something wrong while playing at a friend's house, his parents would hear about it. The parents would not only believe what they had heard, but they would be glad they were told, they'd apologize for their child's behavior, and he or she would soon be sorry for what they did. Guess what? Because this was the way things worked, there were far fewer incidents of troubling behavior by either the kids OR the adults.

I coached girls' volleyball from the early nineties until around 2010. School and J.O., from the youngest to the oldest. Only at the youngest J.O. level were there no problems. I've often thought back, given the heartaches, why I stuck with it for so long.

I had a player with an injured shoulder. She was a starting outside hitter and wanted to play in a given match. I watched her during warm-ups and after a few minutes she was in tears from hitting and serving. I held her out of the match, fearing, most of all, further damage to the shoulder. After the match, her mother came charging down from the bleachers to loudly berate me for not playing her injured daughter. She knew the rules: no contact with the coach on game day, and never without an appointment. And isn't it supposed to be the callous win-at-any-cost coach who forces injured players onto the court or field? Not anymore.

At a J.O. tournament I walked into the auxiliary gym where we were camped out. Two girls were playing keep-away from a third girl, our head coach's daughter. One of the girls threw the ball to me. Before I could say or do anything, the coach's daughter yelled loudly at me, "GIVE ME THAT BALL!" I did, without a word.
I sat on this incident for several days, but it gnawed on me so I told the head coach. Her immediate reaction was that her daughter would never do anything like that, implying that I must be lying.

The night before a 16's J.O. tournament our club director asked if I could give up one of our girls to "play up", to join our 18's team for that one Saturday, otherwise they would be short a player. I didn't really like doing it, but felt obligated. However, the girl that I called, and her parents, were overjoyed at this "promotion".
The next day both teams happened to be playing at the same site in different gyms. After the 18's team lost their first two matches, the girl's father came into our gym, and just as we were getting underway started yelling at me about the situation. Luckily my assistant coach was able to usher him away.

Same team, later in the season. A different father called me several times during the week to let me know that his daughter was out of school with mono and would be unavailable for Saturday's tournament. Then, suddenly, Friday evening he called to tell me she was fine and would be at the tourney. This despite missing a full week of school.
I played her in her regular spot and she was fine. Until the championship match when she began to falter, netting balls and hitting others out. I subbed her out.
We lost the match on a dicey call at the end. This girl's father was not at the match but her mother stared daggers at me at our campsite. That night I got an irate call from the father, who seemed to have forgotten all about the mono and even admitted to me that it was his wife's nagging that got him to make the nasty call. Unbelievable.

These are just a few of the many tales from over the years. Numerous times girls (never the twelves) treated teammates, my assistants, or myself with disrespect, but only when their parents were not in the area.

When I started coaching it was hard to find a job, given that I was only a former player but had no coaching experience. As the years went by, fewer and fewer qualified people were interested in coaching, as they'd either heard or found out first-hand what parents could be like.

Awesome post.

1. The money involved - whether the cost of club sports or the ‘promise’ of college scholarships sends people over the top.

2. I’ve noticed over the years that in the boys’ sports the dads tend to be more over the top, while in the girls sports (see JO volleyball), it’s the moms who are fanatical.

Me, I go to the game and try to enjoy the competition, appreciating the kids who are really good at their sport - and in some way, feel sorry for the kid whose skills are a parental meal ticket for college.

For the other 98%, or the D2/D3 athlete, or the kid who just wants to play during their formative years - these are the times where they build memories, hopefully of the good times with their teammates and opponents and playing the game and not of mom/dad going nuts on them or coaches or refs or other parents.


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