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  #1  
Old 12-19-17, 06:11 PM
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eastside_purple eastside_purple is offline
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The post a joke thread

Pretty simple, share a joke....

“With cigarettes, my wife and I, we made a deal. We only smoke after sex. I've got the same pack now since 1975. What bothers me is my wife. She's up to three packs a day.” —Rodney Dangerfield
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  #2  
Old 12-19-17, 06:49 PM
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A young country boy walks past an old man sitting on his porch. The old man asked "hey boy, what ya doing with that their duct tape your carrying?" The boy says "well I am about to go catch some ducks!" The old laughs and says "you can't catch ducks with duct tape". Sure enough the boy comes back with a few ducks. The next day rolls around and the boy again strolls past the old man, "what you got there boy?" "Well I got chicken wire, I am going to catch some wild chickens". Old man once again tells the boy that isn't going to work. Well the boy comes back with chickens. The next day rolls around and the boy is carrying a stick, the old man asks "hey boy what you got?" The boys says "I got a p u s s y willow branch" the old man looked at the boy and said "hold up, let me get my boots"
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  #3  
Old 12-19-17, 06:52 PM
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Knock knock?
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  #4  
Old 12-19-17, 07:09 PM
chs1971 chs1971 is offline
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Originally Posted by Username1 View Post
Knock knock?
Who's there?
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  #5  
Old 12-19-17, 07:15 PM
Neopolitan Neopolitan is offline
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A plane crashes in the ocean near an undiscovered island. The only survivors are three men and one woman.

They explore the island and find everything they need to survive. After a month, they have shelter, water, and food in excess. However, they all grow increasingly more "frustrated", so they come up with a deal. The woman can't get pregnant for one reason or another and she decides to spend a week being intimate with each person.

This arrangement works well and they're happy for years on the island. One day, the woman died out of the blue.

The first week after her death was rough on the men.

The second week was worse.

The third week was near unbearable.

The fourth week was so bad that they finally decided to bury her body.
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  #6  
Old 12-19-17, 07:32 PM
zeeman zeeman is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Neopolitan View Post
A plane crashes in the ocean near an undiscovered island. The only survivors are three men and one woman.

They explore the island and find everything they need to survive. After a month, they have shelter, water, and food in excess. However, they all grow increasingly more "frustrated", so they come up with a deal. The woman can't get pregnant for one reason or another and she decides to spend a week being intimate with each person.

This arrangement works well and they're happy for years on the island. One day, the woman died out of the blue.

The first week after her death was rough on the men.

The second week was worse.

The third week was near unbearable.

The fourth week was so bad that they finally decided to bury her body.
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  #7  
Old 12-19-17, 07:43 PM
WinstonSmith WinstonSmith is offline
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What do a Pizza Hut delivery guy and a gynecologist have in common?
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  #8  
Old 12-19-17, 07:44 PM
Arrogate Arrogate is offline
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What's the most confusing day in Harlem?

Fathers Day
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  #9  
Old 12-19-17, 07:44 PM
Arrogate Arrogate is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by WinstonSmith View Post
What does a Pizza Hut delivery guy and a gynecologist have in common?
Did you see that news story?
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  #10  
Old 12-19-17, 07:46 PM
WinstonSmith WinstonSmith is offline
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Yes

They both get to smell but don’t get to eat.
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  #11  
Old 12-19-17, 07:47 PM
Arrogate Arrogate is offline
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I burst out laughing when I read the story. He even knew they were kids who wanted the joke lol
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  #12  
Old 12-19-17, 08:08 PM
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Originally Posted by chs1971 View Post
Who's there?
Boo
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  #13  
Old 12-19-17, 08:09 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by WinstonSmith View Post
What do a Pizza Hut delivery guy and a gynecologist have in common?
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  #14  
Old 12-19-17, 08:10 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Arrogate View Post
I burst out laughing when I read the story. He even knew they were kids who wanted the joke lol
Wasn’t the employee a girl?
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  #15  
Old 12-19-17, 08:10 PM
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Neo lol. Pretty good
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  #16  
Old 12-19-17, 08:15 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by eastside_purple View Post
Wasn’t the employee a girl?
The original article I read didn't include the gender of the worker. I see there is now a Twitter movement for #pizzagirl

Even better that it's a chick imo
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  #17  
Old 12-19-17, 11:35 PM
Zunardo Zunardo is offline
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John Kerry walks into a bar. A horse says, "Why the long face?"
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  #18  
Old 12-20-17, 06:06 AM
gobluetom gobluetom is offline
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Did you hear about the lawyer who died and made it to heaven?
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  #19  
Old 12-20-17, 06:53 AM
chs1971 chs1971 is offline
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Did you hear about the lawyer who died and made it to heaven?
Neither did I.
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  #20  
Old 12-20-17, 06:54 AM
chs1971 chs1971 is offline
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Boo
Boo who?
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  #21  
Old 12-20-17, 06:55 AM
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Boo who?
Why you crying?
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  #22  
Old 12-20-17, 08:25 AM
MontetheCarlo MontetheCarlo is offline
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A midget, a priest, a kangaroo and O.J. Simpson walk into a bar. The bartender looks up and asks "What is this, some kind of joke?"
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  #23  
Old 12-20-17, 08:44 AM
TroyTrojan05 TroyTrojan05 is offline
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Donald Trump.
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  #24  
Old 12-20-17, 09:09 AM
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Donald Trump.
lol that's the best of all time and I always chuckle. You guys just can't get over it. You talk about funny.
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  #25  
Old 12-20-17, 09:13 AM
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eastside_purple eastside_purple is offline
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Politics aside, you have to admit watching Trump drink with two hands is really funny.
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  #26  
Old 12-20-17, 09:19 AM
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Not as funny as watching Obama get his work out on
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  #27  
Old 12-20-17, 09:24 AM
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I’d say they’re equally funny.
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  #28  
Old 12-20-17, 09:30 AM
Arrogate Arrogate is offline
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Agreed. But I will let politics get in the way and will say Obama's was more embarrassing
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  #29  
Old 12-20-17, 09:35 AM
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Ha! It’s pretty ridiculous, no doubt. Although lifting the water bottle with two hands might be actually be Trump’s workout.
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  #30  
Old 12-20-17, 09:37 AM
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Trump don't work out.
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