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  #1  
Old 06-19-17, 08:42 PM
Hammerin'Hank Hammerin'Hank is offline
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Rainbow wedding reception

Ok.....so a really good friend of mine just had a daughter get married up in New Hampshire. They are going to have a wedding reception back here in Ohio in August. My dilemma is.......it was a gay wedding. Neither my wife or I believe this is right and is morally wrong. Do we completely opt out, do we not show up and send a gift, or do we give in to our beliefs and attend? I am leaning toward the latter, but really struggling with this.
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  #2  
Old 06-19-17, 09:26 PM
Gardens35 Gardens35 is offline
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Almost the exact situation here, but it was Male-Male. We went out of respect and friendship. The place was chock full of TOTAL FLAMERS, male and female, but not a hot lesbo to be found. We had dinner and a drink, some chit chat with our friends, then cut out.

I know that they appreciated our attendance.
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  #3  
Old 06-19-17, 09:54 PM
cabezadecaballo cabezadecaballo is offline
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That would be a tough one for me, in your shoes. I don't accept the PC, liberalized redefining of the word "marriage". A marriage can only be between a woman and a man. Anything else is something else - just as it has been for all of recorded history.

I accept their right as Americans to live as they would like to, and I would personally be OK with the concept of a "civil union", but I reject the notion that a few politicians and activist judges should be able to force such things as a gay marriage on us. It seems like such a monumental change to push on a culture.

Attending and joining in the celebration is an implicit endorsement of the both the ceremony and the marriage. I don't know how well you know the couple, if at all, but it would seem acceptable to merely send regrets and and a gift, maybe only expressing your moral dilemma to your friend, the parent. Good luck with your decision.
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  #4  
Old 06-19-17, 09:59 PM
cabezadecaballo cabezadecaballo is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Gardens35 View Post
....
I know that they appreciated our attendance.
Well, yeah.

You probably represented mainstream validation to them, to a certain extent. You make it easier for them to call the rest of us "uptight", or "get off my lawn" guy.

Thanks fer nuthin' , Noonan!!
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  #5  
Old 06-19-17, 10:40 PM
EagleGuy EagleGuy is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by cabezadecaballo View Post
That would be a tough one for me, in your shoes. I don't accept the PC, liberalized redefining of the word "marriage". A marriage can only be between a woman and a man. Anything else is something else - just as it has been for all of recorded history.

I accept their right as Americans to live as they would like to, and I would personally be OK with the concept of a "civil union", but I reject the notion that a few politicians and activist judges should be able to force such things as a gay marriage on us. It seems like such a monumental change to push on a culture.

Attending and joining in the celebration is an implicit endorsement of the both the ceremony and the marriage. I don't know how well you know the couple, if at all, but it would seem acceptable to merely send regrets and and a gift, maybe only expressing your moral dilemma to your friend, the parent. Good luck with your decision.
+1 If the guy is indeed a really good friend, he will understand your stance. After all, what is more important than our morals - and others' respect for them?
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  #6  
Old 06-19-17, 11:21 PM
Yappi Yappi is offline
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IMO, if you can't "celebrate" this day with the couple, it's probably best for you not to go. I think that applies in many different situations. I know that I've been at a few wedding receptions where it was obvious that someone wasn't happy being there. The most memorable was an inter-faith marriage. Neither was real religious but the family member didn't agree with marrying someone of a different faith.
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  #7  
Old 06-19-17, 11:31 PM
BlueJayFan BlueJayFan is offline
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Oh so fragile some of you are
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  #8  
Old 06-19-17, 11:34 PM
Raider6309 Raider6309 is online now
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Quote:
Originally Posted by BlueJayFan View Post
Oh so fragile some of you are
I was thinking the same thing. Just suck it up and go. Gay isn't contagious
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  #9  
Old 06-19-17, 11:35 PM
EagleGuy EagleGuy is offline
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Ouch, that hurts. We've become a nation of snowflakes.
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  #10  
Old 06-19-17, 11:36 PM
BlueJayFan BlueJayFan is offline
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If it's a good family friend (known them awhile, pretty close, etc), suck it up and go. This is a big day full of happiness for their family and you should go and celebrate their happiness regardless of your "morals." They clearly value your friendship enough to want you there I've been to plenty of weddings/receptions of friends when I didn't like their significant other (sometimes not at all), but I went and made the best of it because it's my friend's big day and they cared enough to want me there

But it's ultimately your decision. You may be enlightened if ya go also.

Last edited by BlueJayFan; 06-20-17 at 03:46 PM.
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  #11  
Old 06-20-17, 12:35 AM
arizonawildcat arizonawildcat is offline
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As long as there's an open bar, go and get blitzed. The hosts themselves may ask you to leave then.
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  #12  
Old 06-20-17, 06:00 AM
fish82 fish82 is online now
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Gay weddings are normally pretty awesome...better than average food and top-shelf liquor.

FWIW.
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  #13  
Old 06-20-17, 06:57 AM
Gulliotine Gulliotine is offline
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I don't have any friends that would put me on the spot like that. If I did, I'd politely let them know they're asking too much of our friendship. I'm just not into normalizing abnormal behavior. If that ruined our friendship, we really weren't that good of friends to begin with.
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  #14  
Old 06-20-17, 07:00 AM
cabezadecaballo cabezadecaballo is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by BlueJayFan View Post
Oh so fragile some of you are
Wrongo!! Once again.


What the fragile people do in a situation like this is just go along. Take the easy route.
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  #15  
Old 06-20-17, 07:06 AM
cabezadecaballo cabezadecaballo is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by BlueJayFan View Post
........You may be enlightened if ya go also.
Enlightened, huh ?

Here is some Enlightenment for you. It's not very fashionable, I know, but it works for me.

Right is always right - no matter who opposes it. Wrong is always wrong - no matter who endorses it.

I may do wrong on some occasions, but I don't lie to myself.
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  #16  
Old 06-20-17, 09:08 AM
19AL63 19AL63 is offline
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I just ask my wife who hates to make waves if she would go and her answer was she would not go. I cannot be a hypocrite, believe one thing and go which is saying it is OK what they are doing. I believe marriage is only between a man and a woman, not just should be.
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  #17  
Old 06-20-17, 09:11 AM
queencitybuckeye queencitybuckeye is online now
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Originally Posted by EagleGuy View Post
After all, what is more important than our morals - and others' respect for them?
Shouldn't that be a two-way street?
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  #18  
Old 06-20-17, 09:15 AM
Descartes Descartes is offline
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Who cares? Marriage is a joke of an institution anyway.
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  #19  
Old 06-20-17, 09:15 AM
Arrogate Arrogate is online now
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It comes down entirely to open bar
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  #20  
Old 06-20-17, 09:17 AM
BlueJayFan BlueJayFan is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by cabezadecaballo View Post
Enlightened, huh ?

Here is some Enlightenment for you. It's not very fashionable, I know, but it works for me.

Right is always right - no matter who opposes it. Wrong is always wrong - no matter who endorses it.

I may do wrong on some occasions, but I don't lie to myself.
Well thankfully the reason you think it's "wrong" is because of a book written thousands of years ago (and also says eating shellfish, mixing fabrics, etc are wrong also) so I won't sweat it too much.
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  #21  
Old 06-20-17, 09:17 AM
Descartes Descartes is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by cabezadecaballo View Post
That would be a tough one for me, in your shoes. I don't accept the PC, liberalized redefining of the word "marriage". A marriage can only be between a woman and a man. Anything else is something else - just as it has been for all of recorded history.

I accept their right as Americans to live as they would like to, and I would personally be OK with the concept of a "civil union", but I reject the notion that a few politicians and activist judges should be able to force such things as a gay marriage on us. It seems like such a monumental change to push on a culture.

Attending and joining in the celebration is an implicit endorsement of the both the ceremony and the marriage. I don't know how well you know the couple, if at all, but it would seem acceptable to merely send regrets and and a gift, maybe only expressing your moral dilemma to your friend, the parent. Good luck with your decision.
How is it being forced upon you? Were you made to swap out your wife for some dude the gov't pulled out of a highway truck stop bathroom? It's a right all Americans are entitled to.
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  #22  
Old 06-20-17, 09:18 AM
cabezadecaballo cabezadecaballo is offline
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.....damn godless millennials.....


Khrushchev won.....
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  #23  
Old 06-20-17, 09:18 AM
BlueJayFan BlueJayFan is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by cabezadecaballo View Post
Wrongo!! Once again.


What the fragile people do in a situation like this is just go along. Take the easy route.
The easy thing to do is not go. The challenging thing would be to put yourself in a completely foreign environment that you've never been in before and try and learn something from it
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  #24  
Old 06-20-17, 09:23 AM
cabezadecaballo cabezadecaballo is offline
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Originally Posted by Descartes View Post
How is it being forced upon you? Were you made to swap out your wife for some dude the gov't pulled out of a highway truck stop bathroom? It's a right all Americans are entitled to.
A small group of Americans have a right to redefine a core element of the culture by political arm-twisting ? News to me.

Hey, I heard LaSalle was just declared the official parochial school of Greater Cincinnati by the Mayor. Barret Cohen is getting the keys to the city.

Would you accept that graciously ?
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  #25  
Old 06-20-17, 09:26 AM
Descartes Descartes is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by cabezadecaballo View Post
A small group of Americans have a right to redefine a core element of the culture by political arm-twisting ? News to me.

Hey, I heard LaSalle was just declared the official parochial school of Greater Cincinnati by the Mayor. Barret Cohen is getting the keys to the city.

Would you accept that graciously ?
That analogy makes literally zero sense. And it's more than a "small group" who favored gay marriage.
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  #26  
Old 06-20-17, 09:28 AM
Descartes Descartes is offline
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Originally Posted by cabezadecaballo View Post
.....damn godless millennials.....


Khrushchev won.....
Glad you're selectively ignoring the Golden Rule.
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  #27  
Old 06-20-17, 09:30 AM
cabezadecaballo cabezadecaballo is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by BlueJayFan View Post
The easy thing to do is not go. The challenging thing would be to put yourself in a completely foreign environment that you've never been in before and try and learn something from it
And by doing so, implicitly endorse the practice. Not me.

The coward sez they have the flu. That's easy for some, I guess.
Capitulation is easy. I can't imagine why you would call that challenging to anyone but a near shut-in.
Declining, standing one's ground, and having a difficult conversation with one's friend based upon personal integrity and values is actually the challenging path.
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  #28  
Old 06-20-17, 09:37 AM
Descartes Descartes is offline
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Originally Posted by cabezadecaballo View Post
And by doing so, implicitly endorse the practice. Not me.

The coward sez they have the flu. That's easy for some, I guess.
Capitulation is easy. I can't imagine why you would call that challenging to anyone but a near shut-in.
Declining, standing one's ground, and having a difficult conversation with one's friend based upon personal integrity and values is actually the challenging path.
I guess I just don't understand how two people of the same sex getting married cheapens your marriage. If anything, it's the 50% divorce rate that cheapens marriage. There's straight scumbag junkie couples that get married, is their marriage really more legit than two successful dudes getting married? Being gay isn't any different than straight guys who prefer T1ts over azz and vice versa... It's a biological preference.
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  #29  
Old 06-20-17, 09:43 AM
Neopolitan Neopolitan is offline
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cabe, the guy who voted for Obama twice, wouldn't attend a gay friend's wedding because of "personal integrity"

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  #30  
Old 06-20-17, 09:47 AM
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Wait he voted for Obama? That's shocking.
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