I'm sorry to read this, man. The struggle is real. I kind of floated between groups back in high school, never really belonging specifically to any particular one. College was the eye-opener for me. I made lifelong friends there. Getting away from my small town was the key. It wasn't that it was a bad place to grow-up, but my options were limited. People made judgments more easily. Being bullied for disabilities (physical/mental), being poor, being different. Our high school was a mess. Even if college isn't the right route for him, a vocational education post high-school? Somewhere he can get away to be his own person? Maybe be far enough away, but still close enough to have support from family if needed? Being a parent now, I'm hyper-aware of all the anxiety that goes along with the job. You mentioned an IEP, just as an example, and I get that complexity as well. I just want to get to a place where inclusivity for our kids isn't such a hassle all the time. In my experience, it's usually the shy, quiet, and 'different' kids that end up having the most interesting, exciting, and successful adventures anyway.