So, the wife was sick and I went to church alone yesterday. Coming home, I walk back in the house with two black eyes, and the Mrs sez, "What in the world happened to you?!?"
I said, "Well, we stood up to sing a hymn, and Mrs Loosecaboose stood up in front of me. She had her dress stuck in her butt crack, and you know how compulsive I can be about things being out of place. I couldn't take it. I reached up and pulled it out of her butt. I couldn't believe how fast she wheeled around AND POPPED ME IN THE EYE!! Boom!"
Wife guffawed and sez, "OK, well what about the other eye?"
"Well, she was so piszed about her dress, I figured I oughta put it back where it was, you know...."