Every family has to have one, I suppose, and that's me - for some reason. I'm the guy that has to hear about any and all the trouble (which I would prefer not to know) in the extended family and offer advice or at least point them in the right direction.
My dad had 11 siblings and I have 39 first cousins on that side. My aunts and uncles are in their 80's and 90's now and several have already passed away.
My Uncle E and Aunt R are in a tough spot. E worked as a United Airlines pilot in Miami and Atlanta and then retired them comfortably in Atlanta 25+ years ago. My aunt has end stage dementia and isn't long for the world. E is 90 years old. E and R are fantastic people who weren't the greatest parents. They are the epitome of why permissive parenting isn't a good idea. They turned out a son who is selfish and indifferent to their needs and a daughter who has victimized them (according to E).
I guess my difficulty comes from the fact that E is 90. And while he seems perfectly lucid, he is also very frail, doesn't see or hear well, and doesn't always communicate in the clearest way. But he tells me that he has been caring for R all on his own - no help from his kids. R has to be lifted out of bed and he can't do it any longer. So, she needs a home nurse or a nursing home, but he won't do the latter.
But the real problem is that his dau has POA, access to all their finances, etc. He claims that she has stolen about 10K from their accounts and stolen items from the house, including 5 gold rings. He also trusted her to find an attorney to oversee his end-of-life matters, and he claims the attorney charged him 9K for wills, POA's, etc. which seems a bit steep. How much of that is factual, I can't know.
What would your advice be?
Mine was:
Hire home nurse
Hire new attorney to redo wills and POA's
Have trusted friend, pastor, etc. have the POA
Change locks on home
Have new attorney review the prior attorney's work and fees
What am I missing?
My dad had 11 siblings and I have 39 first cousins on that side. My aunts and uncles are in their 80's and 90's now and several have already passed away.
My Uncle E and Aunt R are in a tough spot. E worked as a United Airlines pilot in Miami and Atlanta and then retired them comfortably in Atlanta 25+ years ago. My aunt has end stage dementia and isn't long for the world. E is 90 years old. E and R are fantastic people who weren't the greatest parents. They are the epitome of why permissive parenting isn't a good idea. They turned out a son who is selfish and indifferent to their needs and a daughter who has victimized them (according to E).
I guess my difficulty comes from the fact that E is 90. And while he seems perfectly lucid, he is also very frail, doesn't see or hear well, and doesn't always communicate in the clearest way. But he tells me that he has been caring for R all on his own - no help from his kids. R has to be lifted out of bed and he can't do it any longer. So, she needs a home nurse or a nursing home, but he won't do the latter.
But the real problem is that his dau has POA, access to all their finances, etc. He claims that she has stolen about 10K from their accounts and stolen items from the house, including 5 gold rings. He also trusted her to find an attorney to oversee his end-of-life matters, and he claims the attorney charged him 9K for wills, POA's, etc. which seems a bit steep. How much of that is factual, I can't know.
What would your advice be?
Mine was:
Hire home nurse
Hire new attorney to redo wills and POA's
Have trusted friend, pastor, etc. have the POA
Change locks on home
Have new attorney review the prior attorney's work and fees
What am I missing?